Open Letter to Daniel Mexican and Santana Mexican
Dear Daniel and Santana,

I am a Legal Secretary and advocate for the rights of consenting adults to share love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults.

I have been following your story on the internet closely and I think it is absolutely awful that the Federal government is prosecuting you both. You are both consenting adults and the government has absolutely no business in your bedroom.

Due to the oppressive laws that you both are forced to live and love under, I feel deeply for you and your situation.

If you are reading this, please know that you have a friend, ally, and advocate in me. I want to help you in any way I can. I would welcome contact and would do whatever I could to help you.

Please check out my website www.lilysgardener.com

If you want to contact me completely confidentially, please email me at lilysgardener@protonmail.com

Kind Regards to you both, Cristina Shy

Telling People that they Cannot Consent is Insulting
I borrowed this from my good friend Jane over at Consanguinamory.wordpress.com. This article is written from her experience with her previous relationship with her father. However it can also be true for other family members such as siblings who are in a relationship as well. And so i found it relevant to my blogs as well.

I thought I’d address this because it crops up pretty often when stories are run by the mainstream media, and sometimes in the online replies to such stories. There seems to be a general impression that people aren’t able to consent to sexual relationships with family members, especially their parents. It’s time I gave some proper perspective here.

At the age of eighteen, a person is allowed to legally consent to all of the following:

To join the armed forces and fight (and possibly die) for their country.
Buy and use tobacco.
Be judged as an adult if suspected of a serious crime.
Enter into legally binding contracts, including marriage.
Have sexual intercourse.
Star in a porn movie.
In fact, he or she is permitted by law to consent to an orgy with ten people they just met at a sex party if that’s what they want to do. So how can it be that they are suddenly unable to consent to sex with their relatives? Doesn’t compute does it.

As a matter of fact, the idea that anyone would be unable to consent to sex with a relative but perfectly able to consent to the above list is deeply insulting. It is bringing a persons ability to make their own choices in life into question. In effect is infantilizes the person and makes the outrageous assumption that society’s arbitrary rules and regulations are a one size fits all umbrella of behavioral norms. Those who live outside of those norms are treated as heretics, for these norms are enshrined not just by social custom, but by legislation.

In effect, the underlying assumption that there is no such thing as consensual incest is ridiculous at best. Actually it’s like saying that sex = rape, when that’s very clearly not the case at all… it really is THAT STUPID. One would have thought that this would be obvious, but apparently not to a large number of people.

For the most part this is levied against intergenerational consanguinamorous couples, where there is a perceived power imbalance; but if somebody can consent to sex with any other person many years their senior, or with a person who is vastly more wealthy, or with their boss…. then why not their parent? In fact the power differential between parent and adult offspring is SMALLER than with the latter two examples. So I ask again, why, if I am allowed to have sex with my boss if I choose to, am I not allowed to have sex with my father? Makes no sense does it?

Oh, I hear you say, but you could be manipulated or brainwashed into liking it. REALLY? For serious? Let me put this into perspective using my real life experience. I’ve had ONE consanguinamorous relationship with was loving and perfect, and I’ve had many regular relationships ranging from good to terrible. There has only been ONE relationship in which I was manipulated and abused, and that was with a regular. Having experienced both healthy and unhealthy I know the difference. My consanguinamorous relationship with my dad was very healthy and loving.

My point is that consanguinamorous relationships are not unhealthy or manipulative or abusive JUST BECAUSE THE PARTNER IS RELATED TO YOU. They may be healthy or unhealthy depending on the persons involved. Obviously I would advise anyone in an unhealthy relationship to get out of it, whether their other half is related or not. But ultimately, both consanguinamorous and regular relationships may be healthy or unhealthy depending on the people, it has nothing to do with whether or not they are related, and everything to do with the personality of the two people. Some people are just toxic, and that applies whether they date a relative or an unrelated person. I would advise anyone NOT to date anyone they know to be toxic, whether related or not.

The other main tactic to try to deny the existence of consensual incest is to compare it to child rape. Now, children are below the age of consent for a start. They are both psychologically and physiologically not ready for sexual relations. Children do NOT have sexual feelings as adults understand them. They may be curious about gender differences and they may be curious about how babies are made… but that is in no way an indicator as to their readiness for adult relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude and I do believe that children should get an age-appropriate honest answer when they ask anything about sexuality and reproduction (‘daddy gave mummy a special seed to grow into a baby’ is all that a small child needs to hear if they ask how the baby got there if you’re pregnant). That said I do NOT believe that children must know all the details, at least not in their formative years. Older children will learn about sex in sex education classes anyway, so the exact mechanics need not be taught anyway by parents, but the parent must be willing to answer questions that their children have honestly and frankly if they have a question. Hiding sexual information from kids can do more harm than good, it’s better that they get the right answers from you than the wrong ones from their mates at school. These innocent questions should always be treated as such, and honest answers should always be provided by caring and responsible adults, parents particularly.

That said, when those children are autonomous adults in their own right, fully formed and ready to take on the world, if they choose a parent as their partner, then how the hell is that bad or wrong? Of course adults can manipulate other adults, but how likely is that for a parent to manipulate the person they have raised to be an independent adult? The chances are pretty slim. I fell for my dad for the person he was, his sense of humor, his laid back and chilled out personality, the fact I could talk to him about ANYTHING and he would ALWAYS be there for me, we had so much in common on every conceivable level, we wanted the same things out of life… everything about him was perfection to me. We connected on so many levels it was indescribable, and for somebody to tell me I was not able to consent simply because he is my parent… it’s beyond an insult… it’s just vile and disgusting that anyone would think I wasn’t’ consenting.

IN CONCLUSION, I will say that comparing consenting adult incest with child rape is both outrageous and disgusting, and that anybody making that outrageous comparison should be willing to debate with me on the issue. If you’re one of those people reading, I’m ready for you, bring it on. If you’re a consanguinamorous parent who is involved with their adult-child, please don’t be discouraged, not everyone is against you, and certainly not our community.If you’re a consanguinamorous offspring reading this, you’ll need to give extra love and support to your parent/partner. These relationships are so difficult, but only because the world has made them that way, so don’t let the haters win!

Unconventional love needs no justification
I borrowed this writing from my friend Jane at Consanguinamory.wordpress.com because it is relevant to my platforms. Enjoy !!

Many times, especially when dealing with others on the internet (although the same can apply offline too, of course), there is the temptation to try to justify our relationships. Don’t get me wrong, if somebody is asking a genuine question where the intent is to learn, then they deserve an honest answer, and one should be provided. However, sometimes people get into debates about the rights and wrongs of relationships that do not follow the societal norms. And that of course, includes incest. So people sometimes feel backed up into a corner, feeling as though they need to justify their feelings in order to shore up their validity.

My message today is that you DON’T have to justify your feelings or relationship to anyone. You have as much right to love and happiness as anyone else, and it’s NOT a sin to deviate from the crowd. People enter into mutual relationships because they love each other, to share time and experiences with each other. They raise families, buy or rent homes and do all the regular stuff that people do with their lives. That applies universally, whether you’re straight or gay, monogamous or polyamorous, regular or consanguinamorous.

People would not ask their friend to justify why she is dating a guy from her workplace, or a guy they know from the bar to justify his relationship with his best friend since high school. They wouldn’t ask a homosexual to justify his or her orientation either. So why suddenly, when it comes to incest or polyamory, do people all of a sudden require such justification? It makes no sense.

Love justifies itself, and it knows no artificial barriers. People do of course have a free choice on whether to act on such feelings or not, and it would be short-sighted and stupid to claim that people have no autonomy on who they enter into relationships with… Clearly they do. Everyone is responsible for their own lives. But the CHOICE of an unconventional relationship that is based in love never needs justification, it needs acceptance (or at the very least tolerance).

Consider this: every time we try to justify our choices, we are giving in to our opponents claim that our love needs such justification. It doesn’t. Consanguinamory is just as valid as any other type of relationship between consenting adults. So each time we get into a debate with a naysayer, it would be a great idea to say ‘if your relationship needs no justification, then neither does mine’. At best it will get the other person to stop and think, and at worst it could send the other person on a rant. Either way, some of the spectators will stop and think. There are plenty of debate tactics to use that do not rely on self-justification.

All in all, just know that you’re not obliged to explain yourself to anyone, and why should you?


Open Letter to Attorneys in the USA
Greetings,
I am writing this open letter to attorneys because our community of consanguinamorous people is in it's fledgling stage and we need allies and attorneys that are sympathetic to our cause..
I suppose i should start by explaining that consanguinamory means adult consensual incest. With so many people who were adopted, were created by sperm donors, or through surrogacy, these people are becoming adults now and they are seeking out their biological relatives. As a result, a phenomenon called GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) is quickly coming to light in the mainstream media. I am an advocate for this community of people.
The government has no business in the bedrooms of consenting adults, regardless of their blood relation. These oppressive laws need change and public awareness is the first step. We also need professional allies, specifically, brave attorneys who are willing to help our cause. I am not asking for pro bono attorneys, as i know attorneys need to eat too, so they need to be paid. But their council is needed for many reasons. Our community has couples that are facing years, even decades in prison simply for having sex with each other. The fear of prosecution, fear of the removal of their children, and other issues are a major concern for us. And so I am reaching out to you. Please, if you are interested in our cause, have questions, or wish to be an ally, contact me here. Our movement is just getting started and we have a long way to go, but we need all the help we can get. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
Kind Regards,
Cristina

Democracy, Freedom, and Consanguinamory
Democracy, Freedom and Consanguinamory


societies than those that do not. If you’re lucky enough to live in a country which operates as a democracy, you’re quite entitled to say, for instance, that you hate certain politicians with no fear of reprisals. Democracy at it’s core is supposed to be a government of the people, by the people, for the people. A lofty ideal, and good on paper even when it falls short in practice due to the inherent imperfections of our politicians on all points on the political spectrum.

This said, true democracy has but one serious flaw built into it; the risk of the tyranny of the majority. Such a system would undoubtedly oppress minorities needlessly, wouldn’t it? Of course it would, there is no other way for it to be without various checks and balances being put into place which would prevent just that from occuring.


Democracy, Freedom and Consanguinamory

Note: this was written by Jane of Consanguinamory.wordpress.com and with permission I am reposting it on my platforms because of it's relevancy. Thank you Jane. Cristina www.lilysgardener.com
Most people believe that democracy and freedom go hand in hand, and on the surface of it, that seems to be the case. After all, countries which operate under democratic principals are by and large far freer revent just that from occurring.
It is for this reason that the concept of HUMAN RIGHTS exists, to act as that check and balance to ensure that the rights of minorities to practice alternative lifestyles are afforded. On paper, again it all looks very very good, all people have the right to a private life, a family life, and sexual autonomy. So, what’s that to do with us?
Well, actually EVERYTHING. We are one minority that this system has so far failed miserably. Anti-incest laws are still on the books, we are still institutionally discriminated against despite being a threat to nobody. In truth these laws are still in effect due to public opinion; the public find us disgusting. Is that not the tyranny of the majority?
My argument here is that human rights concepts ought be applied universally when dealing with minorities that are harmless. We’re probably the most misunderstood and demonised sexual minority on Earth, and as such we should be protected from the tyranny of the majority, not subjected to it by our own governments on the basis that people are disgusted.
How can any system SERIOUSLY claim to believe in and practice human rights when those rights extend only to those that are approved of by the majority? That’s not real human rights, that’s just accepting those that are approved of already and to hell with anyone else! Human rights is the gateway to freedom for ALL consenting adults to engage in whatever relationships they please, regardless of whether or not it is popular. We cannot expect everyone to like us, obviously, but we can expect our governments to quit persecuting our people and throwing us in jail. We can expect to be protected from harassment and bullying, unfair dismissal at work on the basis of such relationships…etc. In short we can and SHOULD expect to be treated with the same respect and dignity as any other group of people.
We’re certainly a democratic society, but are we a FREE society? On the basis that human rights seem to apply to some and not to all, I would have to conclude that NO, we’re actually not as free as we think we are. When consenting adults can be jailed simply for having a sexual relationship which is unpopular, what kind of society are we living in? Not the pleasant, tolerant and progressive one that most people seem to think that they live in that’s for certain.
We will win the fight against bigotry and hate, we just need to get enough people to see that we are normal people leading normal lives, not weirdos or perverts. We do not need to justify our relationships because love justifies itself. We will get society to realize that just because they personally find something disgusting, does not make it necessarily wrong for everyone. We are both need and deserve equal rights, and we will settle for nothing less.

Open letter to Monica Mares and Caleb Peterson
Dear Monica Mares and Caleb Peterson,

I am a Legal Secretary and advocate for the rights of consenting adults to have love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults.

I have been following your story on the internet closely and I think it is absolutely awful that law enforcement is prosecuting you both. You are both consenting adults and the government has absolutely no business in your bedroom.

I have experience with GSA so I completely understand what you both are going through. I congratulate you on finding love and happiness together.

Due to the oppressive laws that you both are forced to live and love under, I feel deeply for you and your situation.

If you are reading this, please know that you have a friend, ally, and advocate in me. I want to help you in any way I can. I would welcome contact and would do anything I could to help you.

Please check out my website www.lilysgardener.com

If you want to contact me completely confidentially, please email me at lilysgardener@protonmail.com

Kind Regards to you both, Cristina

When it starts: overwhelming love and inner conflict
This article is written by my good friend Jane of consanguinamory.wordpress.com and it is definitely one that i feel is relevant to my website. So with her permission i have posted it here:


This article is about the most common feelings that people have when they start consanguinamorous relationships. It is aimed to help outsiders understand us better, and to help people who have just found themselves in a new relationship of this nature. Hopefully it will also help those people who are a bit further down the road, but still struggling with feelings of guilt and self-hate.

Just like in any other type of relationship, falling in love is a very special experience. Suddenly you see this other person in a whole new light, the lights go on in your brain and you get the butterflies and that warm fuzzy feeling when the other person is around. You want to be in their presence as often as possible, you crave physical contact with him or her, and just hearing their voice brightens your day. A lot of very positive things are said about falling in love, and for good reason, it feels good and it is the initial stages of bonding for a couple (or polycule). What happens when these positive, wonderful and special emotions are felt towards a family member?

At the first phase of attraction, in most types of relationships people just tend to go for it and ask the other person out, this is certainly true of the widely accepted forms of sexuality, namely the straight and gay communities. It is a bit different for consanguinamorous people for a few reasons. Firstly, incest is so taboo that asking the other person if they’re interested is in itself a monumentally courageous thing to do. Secondly, when society has told you all your life that these feelings are bad, wrong, sick and disgusting, it is impossible not to internalize at least some of that and begin to feel bad about yourself for even having these feelings in the first place. Thirdly, the function of ‘dating’ in the normal sense of the word means to get to know the other person, this aspect applies to GSA consanguinamory where the participants have to get to know each other, but far less so with conventional incest where the participants know each other extremely well to begin with. In cases where consanguinamory is in it’s non-GSA form, the relationships is at the outset an extension of the existing family bond. In all kinds of consanguinamory, there are going to be a mixed bag of feelings when it comes to entering into these relationships.

I remember what it felt like myself, when I was first thinking about my dad in this way. My lines of thinking and internal dialog was something like ‘He’s just so wonderful, I want to be with him all the time, I can’t get him out of my head…. stop thinking like that, that’s disgusting and sick…. but he might feel the same way…. that’s fucked up…. it feels so right…. but it’s so wrong, it’s incest…. should it matter that he’s related? I love him anyway…. this is just perverted…. but it doesn’t feel perverted’ …etc. Sound familiar? The wonderful feelings of being in love, then the self-hate. If you’re going through this right now, there are ways to live without shame. You are certainly not alone and you can get connected to realize just how normal you really are. It certainly goes a long way towards understanding your sexuality and embracing it. It’s not wrong to feel this way, you’re just a bit different from the expected norm of society. It took me a while to understand myself and how normal I was… sadly my dad never got to accept himself in this way and he broke it off with me a few years ago because of this and fear of being discovered.

When you’ve calmed the inner turmoil by realizing and fully understanding that what society has to say about incest is both prejudiced and deeply ignorant, you will understand that there is nothing wrong with you and that you and your family lover have every right to a consanguinamorous relationship if you choose to. You’re doing nothing wrong, you’re harming nobody… and yet it is society that does the harming with it’s ridiculous laws.

Whatever your circumstances, proceed with caution, but should you both feel the same please try to eliminate the self-hate. You’re beautiful just as you are and you shouldn’t try to change for anyone. Love is love, and our form of love is the most special, deep and precious gift ever, it’s a blessing, not a curse.

Myths about consanguinamory
This article is written by my good friend Jane of consanguinamory.wordpress.com and i feel it is relevant to my website. So with her permission i have posted it here:

I realize that in various articles I have debunked some of the myths regarding consanguinamory. However I have decided to do this myth debunking article in order to bring to the table all of the anti-incest arguments so that I can set the record straight in a single article. This is both for the benefit of any exsanguinamorous readers that might have made their way here, and for the benefit of any consanguinamorous people who still think that they are somehow ‘broken’ or ‘bad’. Living with our sexuality is not easy when society does not accept us for what we are, and it’s a sad fact of life that people really do need to be educated before they can learn to accept us as a part of normal life.
MYTH ONE: Incest is always abusive
No, it isn’t. Abuse is when one partner in the relationship decides to do any of the following:
Domestic violence; hitting other people is always wrong unless it is self-defense or defense of one’s family.
Controlling behavior, like telling the victim what to wear or how to think.
Emotional and verbal abuse, like making the victim feel bad about him or herself, yelling at the victim.
Monitoring and spying, for example demanding e-mail passwords, reading phone texts and such like so the person has no privacy or personal space.
Restriction of resources, such as money, household items, Internet access… etc
Playing mind games and making the victim believe that they are going mad.
Blackmail and threats.
Making the victim believe that nobody is going to believe him or her if abuse is reported.
Isolating the victim by making it impossible for him or her to see family and friends.
Making the victim dependent on the abuser, like stopping him or her from working and therefore creating financial dependency.
Sexual abuse and rape.
Sadly, many people, especially women, fall prey to these kinds of people. These behaviors are very wrong regardless of whether a perpetrator is related to the victim or not. The point I am making by highlighting is that many people have incestuous relationships without any of the above taking place, in fact, within consanguinamory such abuse is RARE. Think about this rationally, why would any person who loves their family member subject him or her to any of the above? Logically, they wouldn’t do any such thing. If anything, such abuse may even be LESS LIKELY within consanguinamory, because of heightened love and respect for family as family. It is possible of course to get an abusive partner within ones family, but it should be abuse that is illegal, not consanguinamorous relationships.
Over the years I have spoken to many people within consanguinamorous relationships, and almost all of them have been in happy and functional loving relationships. Those who weren’t fully happy were simply sick and tired of having to hide their love all the time, or had been caught and were fearful that they were going to be reported to police. A situation that leads to depression in some people.
Of course, that isn’t to say that they never argue… consanguinamorous people argue about all the same things as exsanguinamrous people do; money, kids, what color to redecorate the living room, what type of takeaway to order… etc. But this is a far cry from the relationships being abusive, this is LIFE for all couples regardless of what type of relationship it is. I’m sure that polyamorous unions and gay couples, not to mention heterosexual monogamous exsanguinamorous people have similar disputes and love each other to pieces the same as consanguinamorous people do.
I will add here that incest is as normal, as functional and a loving as any other relationship, it is simply different. Abuse CAN occur, but that doesn’t mean that it will. Assuming abuse is not a valid reason for banning such relationships. Furthermore, it makes it near on impossible for anyone who IS in a consanguinamorous abusive situation to come forward and get help. Think about it; if a brother and sister enter a relationship and they are both happy at first, and then the brother gets jealous of some guy his sister is friends with at work and he assumes she is cheating and then starts isolating her, spying on her, controlling her, and hitting her… how can she go to the cops when she will be charged with incest and also thrown in jail? She can’t, and so she suffers in silence, she doesn’t have the same protection from abuse as a woman who is in an exsanguinamorous relationship. The very law that people say protects people from abuse by their relatives is making it harder to stop any actual abuse cases, as well as making loving couples live in the shadows… this alone should be reason enough to strike the anti-incest laws from the books.
MYTH TWO: Incest is abnormal and perverted
Says who? It is a known fact that a small minority of animals are quite happy to mate with close relatives, which puts a rather large kibosh on the idea of it being unnatural. It should be no surprise that this rare tendency also exists in human beings. As for it being perverted… well perverse is in the eye of the beholder and entirely subjective. I personally find watersports and scat to be deeply perverse because it makes me feel ill… but that is just my personal opinion, somebody else might feel very differently. Other people can do whatever they like as long as it doesn’t involve or affect me. What business is it of mine if the guy next door likes to have golden showers? None at all. So what business should it be of anyone else’s if I were to get back together with my dad at some point? Again, it should be none of anyones business. My point is that we all have different sexual preferences, likes and dislikes… and we should all respect each others right to have these preferences without fear of ridicule, condemnation and persecution (legal or otherwise).
MYTH THREE: Incest always leads to deformed babies.
This is demonstrably untrue. Consider ancient Egypt, the royal families were very heavily inbred, and only after a large number of generations did congenital abnormalities show up in the resulting children. One such example is the boy-king Tutankhamen, his ankle was deformed and he had to use a walking stick (lots of canes were found in his tomb which he used for this very reason). It is not clear if even this was caused by the inbreeding, but it is a possibility that we shouldn’t discount. His sister/wife also miscarried twice…. but you must remember that this is after OVER TEN GENERATIONS of inbreeding with first degree relatives. Such an example is highly unlikely in this culture today.
That is of course not to say that increased risks don’t exist, they do and they should be explored and minimized where possible. I would be strongly in favor of genetic counseling being made available for any and all couples worried about the genetic health of their future offspring, including consanguinamorous couples.
We must also bear in mind that we do not make illegal breeding between other high risk groups, some far higher risk than incest. For instance we do not ban women over 40 from having children despite the far greater risk of downs syndrome babies, and we do not ban others with known genetic diseases from breeding with others who have or who carry the potential for those same genetic diseases.
Furthermore, we do not know what kind of abnormalities may result in inbred children. People always assume the worst kind of deformities or severe retardation but that is actually pretty rare. The imperfection may be so minor as to never bother it’s recipient. It may be as minor as needing to wear glasses, so minor that the imperfection is considered normal within the general population. Sure, the risks of SOME genetic defect is greater than for the general population, but not so great as to cause some catastrophe each and every time. Risks for unrelated couples is around 2% chance that something goes wrong, for first cousins this risk increases to about 3-4%, for second degree relatives the risk is about 6% and for immediate family it is around 9%. So yes, increased risks do exist, but it is nowhere near as high as the authorities would have one believe.
I would like to add at this point that I believe that consanguinamorous couples who do not want to take this risk should be allowed to have kids via other routes. Sperm banks for example, or surrogacy, adoption, or for those who are also polyamorous, perhaps breeding with a third party who is part of the triad.
Also, just because somebody is in an incestuous relationship, does not necessarily mean that they will breed. It is impossible for many couples, for instance middle aged and elderly consanguinamorists where the woman is going through, or has already gone through menopause. This is also applicable to mother/son couples a lot of the time as she is menopausal while he is in his prime.
Reliable contraception is widely available to everyone, how easy is it to walk into a shop and buy some condoms? Other more long term and reliable methods are available, such as birth control pills, the coil, implants, cap and spermicide, and of course the more permanent methods of vasectomy or having ones tubes tied. These are options to consider to prevent unwanted or badly timed pregnancy, and this applies to all people, not just consanguinamorous people.
MYTH FOUR: Incest perverts and distorts the family dynamic
I can see why an outsider looking in might believe this, because it appears that we abandon the family role to become lovers… nothing could be further from the truth.
When we become involved with a family member, we do not cease to be family, we add the romantic bond to the existing family bond. It doesn’t confuse the the two roles, and these roles are not in direct conflict as many believe. To be honest they go hand i hand quite well. I know this from personal experience, my dad was still my dad, I could still ask for his advice or take on something in the daughter role, and yet still be his partner and lover simultaneously. For me the contradiction simply wasn’t there. To love somebody as both family and as a lover is the double-love bond that makes consanguinamory unique and special, without the family side to the bond relationships feel empty to many people for whom it is a sexual orientation. Trust me, I’ve tried exsanguinamory and it feels wrong for me.
From personal experience I say this: Incest ENHANCES the family bond, far from destroying it, it serves to be an add-on, and it creates the most beautiful, complete and all-encompassing form of love that one could ever wish to experience. In short, the reverse is true of what people think!
MYTH FIVE: Incest is an act of desperation, nobody would seriously want to do that.
Again this is based on a misperception. It is based on the idea that because incest is apparently disgusting (it is to some people, but clearly not to everyone), people who engage in it do so because they are unable to find an unrelated partner. The assumption is that incest happens because the people involved are ugly or have some other defect that causes them to be unable to mate with others.
This is so far off the mark that it isn’t even funny. When I was younger I had offers for anything from casual sex to long term interest… I still get men chatting me up frequently (I’m in my 30s), but I am simply not interested in those men. I am a good looking woman for my age and I could still have my pick of men if I chose to… but that is not what I choose. I want my dad, not some guy who looks at me in a bar and says ‘fair rack you have there, I’d take you home any time’… yes, some random guy did actually say that to me, as if my breasts were my only alluring feature… to make it worse, I had my two year old child with me at the time (before anyone asks, conceived with by exsanguinamory with an ex-partner). Needless to say I turned this sordid proposal for casual sex down, he was very very drunk though in his defense, I found the whole thing pretty repulsive. To be honest his attitude made me feel dirty. I’ve had serious offers from other men, some of them good looking and clearly enamored, but for me exsanguinamorous dating just doesn’t feel right for me, the family bond is missing and for that reason it feels incomplete.
The point here is that I am more than capable and able to attract other men, I do so without even thinking about it… but the attention is unwanted. It’s nice to know that others fancy me… but that is a far cry from wanting to be with them. I’m consanguinamorous and they just don’t have what I want. Really, you could give me the most gorgeous looking guy in the world who has a few million quid in his bank account and a mansion with servants… I would still choose my dad over anyone else. He isn’t with me any longer, but he is the only man in the world I want for a serious relationship.
MYTH SIX: Incest is the result of mental illness
Actually, no it isn’t. Incest is the result of mutual attraction and love between two people who happen to be closely related… how is that any different from how exsanguinamorous relationships start? In reality it is no different except for the fact that the two people concerned are related!
It is possible to get two people who are involved in consanguinamory who also suffer from mental illness, but the illness is not caused by consanguinamory, and furthermore, consanguinamory is not in itself a mental illness. Gay people were also once accused of being mentally ill… and now that has been disproved.
The only mental illness that consanguinamorous people are likely to have is depression, as a result of having to hide their relationships and the stress of the fear of being caught and possibly prosecuted.
MYTH SEVEN: Incest is a sin
This depends on what religion you follow and your definition of a sin. Most religions condemn consanguinamory between anyone more closely related than first cousins. Yet it should be noted that religion and state are very separate entities and should always remain so. Just because somebody defines something as a sin does not mean that it should be illegal. For instance, adultery is a sin, but not against the law.
Most people consider consanguinamory to be sinful… but if you’re a Christian, there is just ONE verse in the whole Bible condemning it, in Leviticus. Yet also notice consanguinamory NOT being condemned elsewhere in the Bible. How did Cain reproduce if he was not part of a polyandrous triad with his parents? Did you know that Abraham and his wife Sarah were a bro/sis couple? How about Lot and his drunken threesome with his two daughters? None of this is condemned in the Bible. Furthermore, Jesus had absolutely nothing to say on this issue. For me it is simply a non-issue.
CONCLUSION
There is no valid reason for incest being illegal. It might well be against other peoples sensibilities but that is a far cry from it being necessary to legislate against it. A lot of the objections that people have to consanguinamory are based on misperceptions and misinformation. That’s the reason this blog exists, to dispel such myths and ensure that people get our side of the story too. Incest is beautiful, it is nothing to be ashamed of, or afraid of. It is time to end the discrimination and hate, it is time to open hearts and minds to us. We are nobody’s enemy, we simply want the right to live our lives in peace and comfort without fear. Surely this is not too much to ask?

MYTH EIGHT: Women would not want incest
There is a great deal of silly ideas held by the public, but some of the silliest are actually gender stereotypes.In terms of sexuality, it is generally considered to be the case that men have more diverse and unusual sexual interests, and that women want the traditional setup. People extrapolate from this basic assumption that anything as ‘far out’ as incest is something that women do not want. While it seems like a logical conclusion for an unthinking brain, it’s also pretty untrue.
Case in point: Myself, a consanguinamorous woman who is pro-incest enough to create a whole blog about it for the world to see. I think I pretty much dispel this myth just by existing
To be honest, I have spoken to many other people online, both at Kindred Spirits and over Facebook. There are a heck of a lot of women in both places who are consanguinamorous.
MYTH NINE: People can’t consent to incest
Actually, yes they can. If somebody is old enough to consent to sex, then they are old enough to consent to it with a family member. To say otherwise makes no logical sense now, does it? People consent to incest the same way that they consent to any other form of sex.
People always invoke the ‘parent/offpring has too much power differential’ argument while failing to address the fact that other types of relationships also have power differentials. In fact I wrote an entire essay on this very subject for those interested in a more thorough debunking of this myth.
MYTH TEN: Incestuous people want to sleep with their whole family
Says who? Actually, they don’t. Just like with other types of relationship, mutual attraction has to be there or else nothing can happen. If you’re exsanguinamorous and heterosexual… do you want to sleep with every unrelated member of the opposite sex you see? Of course not, that would be a stupid suggestion. The idea that we want to sleep with everyone in our family is equally ridiculous.
MYTH ELEVEN: Incest always leads to emotional damage
No, it doesn’t, not when there is a loving relationship in which two people are very happy. How can having a happy loving relationship lead to emotional damage? Let’s see… nope, it really can’t. I am surprised really that arguments like this even get invoked they are so easily debunked.
The only emotional damage that gets done to consanguinamorous people is by society labeling them as sick disgusting perverts and then treating them as criminals. Living under such oppression leads to depression for some people. It is society that causes us the emotional damage, not the relationships. How would anyone feel under such circumstances?
MYTH TWELVE: Incest is when people molest their children
This myth is one of the most upsetting to me, equating our beautiful double-love bond with predatory pedophilia is sickening and disgusting to us. Consanguinamory is sex between ADULT family members, not adults and related children. There is a bloody big difference between the two.
Some pedophiles claim to be incestuous, but that’s the same as a pedophile priest who rapes his alter boys claiming to be homosexual. I wrote an article pretty recently about pedophiles making this outrageous claim, I suggest to anyone believing this myth should read it.
Conclusion
Well there you have it, even more reasons that the nay-sayers are wrong, because their preconceptions are wrong.

Coming out, the good and the bad
This article was written by Jane at consanguinamory.wordpress.com and is something i feel is relevant to my website so with her permission i have posted it here:


For obvious reasons, coming out to friends and family as consanguinamorous is not the same as coming out as gay. For a start, incest is illegal in the majority of countries, and in those where it is legal, there is still a lot of prejudice to overcome even though not from the law. For us, the risks of coming out at far far greater than they are for the average homosexual or lesbian, at least that is the case in the western world. For this reason, for most if not all consanguinamorous couples, the relationship must be kept top secret. Yet somehow despite all that, there are a few brave souls amongst us who have had the courage to tell a trusted other about this part of their lives.

The risks

Of course if somebody makes an error of judgment and tells the wrong person, it could lead to arrest and prosecution in most places, in which case jail time is likely, as is being added to the sex offenders register. Even if that person doesn’t inform the police directly, him or her confiding this knowledge to another less understanding person could lead to that person making such a report.

Of course, in cases where the police are not informed, or even in countries where incest is legal, it could still lead to horrible social repercussions. Friends and family may suddenly disown you, you could potentially lose your job and your home. You might even find a lynch mob after you or find your property vandalized or worse.

It is also quite possible that those you tell will try to split you up, try to get you sectioned by a psychiatrist, tell you that you’re sick and perverted and disgusting… etc. Do you want to possibly invite that sort of abuse into your life?

The benefits

Of course, if you choose to come out to the right person or people, then there are additional people you can be yourselves around without having to hide. Those understanding souls can be there for you and will fully accept your relationship even if they cannot completely relate to all aspects of it. It takes a lot of courage for somebody to come out, and if you are one of those people, please choose your friend wisely.

Coming out in each scenario

Of course, different life circumstances might mean that the person you’re coming out to will react differently.

Coming out to a spouse – Here, it makes a bloody big difference whether the consanguinamory was in the distant past or if it is an ongoing part of your life. If the latter you will probably have been cheating, and that is wrong whether the person you cheated with is related to you or not. That scenario is going to go down like a lead balloon I’m afraid. If your relationship is an open one then perhaps the sleeping with somebody else won’t be so much of a problem, so much as your spouses reaction to who you’ve been sleeping with.

If however it was a case of it all being ancient history, perhaps teenage experimentation or even a relationship that ended well before you met your current spouse, it may or may not be an issue. I can understand wanting to be totally honest with your partner, but sometimes it might just be best to keep certain things private; why upset him or her with your ancient history? In this scenario it is probably best to join a support forum like Kindred Spirits and vent your thoughts and feelings in there, where you know that everyone will be supportive and understand.

Also bear in mind that if you choose to tell your spouse, and later your relationship comes to an end, that if he or she becomes particularly vindictive then the knowledge could be used as a weapon against you, even if only psychologically.

Coming out to parents – This is a big one, especially for sibling couples. The reaction can be anything from supportive to calling the cops, or indeed anything in between. Obviously you know your parents general attitudes towards life in general, and perhaps even about sexuality in general. If they’re accepting of gay people and alternative lifestyles and open minded in general it might be worth considering telling them. Of course, on the other hand if they are very conservative or religious I would really think twice about telling them anything. This applies to telling anyone, not just parents!

Most people want their parents to love and accept them for who they are, and to be proud of them. Depending on their general attitudes, this may or may not still be possible after finding out about your relationship. I’ve even heard of some parents completely disowning their consanguinamorous children, which is very sad indeed but inevitable for some because of the amount of prejudice. Their reaction might also differ depending on who you’re with and their reaction to that person and their perceptions. They may be less tolerant towards a intergenerational relationship than to a monogenerational one.

Parents may also feel that it is somehow ‘their fault’ in some way,and believe that they didn’t do enough to instill moral values or something like that. Of course, that isn’t the case because consanguinamory is an orientation for many of us in non-GSA situations, and it’s an argument that barely applies to GSA since the parents were likely out of the picture anyway while you were both growing up in separate homes. Just like it isn’t the parents fault if somebody turns out to be gay, it isn’t the parents fault that somebody turns out consanguinamorous… it’s something that just happens.

Coming out to siblings – Again, the risks depend on their attitudes in general just as with parents, but also on who you’re with. Some siblings may be absolutely fine if you’re with your cousin, or your other sibling… but it may be another matter entirely if you’re with one of your parents or another older relative, as they might assume that you’re being abused or taken advantage of even though that’s far from being the case.

Of course, you can read your situation and the attitudes of your family members pretty well, so you will know the right timing, and the right way to come out if you choose to do that. Of course, don’t come out to religious conservative types.

Coming out to friends – I would only recommend coming out to very close friends, not the mates you go to work with and have a pint with on a Friday night after work. It’s really down to how much you trust that friend and how open minded they are. If somebody is a very close friend, and is very liberal minded, or perhaps a gay friend, then you’re likely on solid ground… that said, even some liberal gays can be against incest, but maybe their perception will be open to change after knowing your situation.



Being caught/outed

Sometimes, people have no choice but come clean and spill the beans. Perhaps some spiteful person has discovered your relationship and is trying to ruin your life from a distance by sending malicious letters to your friends, family and workplace. Perhaps you were caught in the act. Perhaps people are growing suspicious of your secrecy and have put two and two together. All of those scenarios have happened to people, and continue to happen.

Of course, malicious mail and peoples interpretations can be plausibly denied, especially since most people find incest so outrageous and they already have a mental image of you as ‘normal’ so they will be quite ready for you to deny it, and accept your denial whether you’re lying or not. The more suspicious however might still suspect, but will obviously not report you because they’d fear been seen as foolish and vindictive if they turned out to be wrong.

Denying it when you’ve been caught red handed, that’s not possible to deny. Now is the time for damage control. I would recommend the three of you sitting down and for you two to be prepared to answer some tough questions. In these cases, be honest, and stress to the unfortunate person who discovered you that you’re in love, that you didn’t plan for it to happen, it just did…. etc. Then ask them what they plan on doing. Hopefully they will keep your secret, if not you must plan for the worst, or perhaps even go on the run towards a country where it is not illegal and where nobody knows you.

CONCLUSION

I would seriously recommend telling nobody because there are so much risks involved in doing so, but if you must come out, or if you are outed then it is a case of trying to minimize the risks as much as humanly possible. You know the people you’re thinking of coming out to better than anyone, so you know their likely reaction far better than I do… but please be cautious. If it’s a case of just needing to talk, then it’s much safer to join a forum like Kindred Spirits.

Whether to have kids, and how
I covered a similar topic on this blog a while back but mine was more about debunking the genetic issues argument. This article I am posting here by my good friend Jane of consanguinamory.wordpress.com goes into more detail about relevant decisions on having children. so with her permission I have posted it here:


Most couples of any persuasion want to have children at some point, and that isn’t a problem for the majority of the population, in fact some manage to procreate more prolifically than they would like. That said, there are special concerns for consanguinamorous couples, namely the increased risks of congenital disorders. Other factors also come into play such as the age and general health of the woman, any disorders which run in the family, the lifestyle of the parents (for example, do they drink and smoke or not, do they eat a healthy diet…etc), all of which may impact on the health of any child produced.

My aim here is not write this article through rose tinted glasses, if I did, I would be doing my readers a disservice. It is also not intended as advice, you’re an adult and perfectly capable of making up your own mind about these issues. All I am going to give you are the facts, and of course, some food for thought.

The Statistics on the risks of birth defects

Unrelated couple – 2%

Third degree relatives (first cousins) – 3-4%

Second Degree relatives (uncle/neice and aunt/nephew) – about 6% risk, about the same as for a woman in her forties.

First Degree relatives (bro/sis, dad/daughter, mum/son) – about 9% risk – This is in dispute as no solid data has been found to corroborate this. However, this is the most likely statistic because it is the same for DOUBLE FIRST COUSINS (where the parents of one cousin are brother and sister of the parents of the other cousin) who share the same proportion of common genes as brother and sister.

These risks are for ANY KIND of defect, they do not say what sort of defect or how severe they may be. The defect could be a severe and lifelong disability, or it could be something so minor as to not be unusual in the general population, perhaps being more prone to allergies like hayfever or having a food intolerance.

What the statistics also do not tell you is that the chances of passing along homozygous beneficial genes must necessarily also enhanced by those same percentages. For instance if the normal copy of a gene gives somebody average running speed, but the ‘mutant’ one makes somebody able to run faster, two copies of that same gene could make an Olympic athlete in the making!

Other genetic factors

Of course, the above is based on the average HEALTHY incestuous couple whose ‘mutant genes’ both beneficial and destructive are recessive and hidden. However, for some couples, they may already present with homozygous copies of a genetic nasty, and if their partner is also a carrier (more likely if they are closely related), then the chances of any offspring having homozygous copies is greatly increased to around 50%.

This can and does happen with unrelated couples too, for instance if one has Huntington’s disease, and the partner has it in their family too, then the children will have a 50% chance of having the disease. So the problem is not unique to incest couples. It is also worth noting that if the partners are unrelated, even with these massive risks, their reproduction is still legal.

Moral and ethical considerations

If you and your partner are both healthy, then while increased risks exist for you, it is overwhelmingly probable that you can have a healthy baby. It depends on whether the risks are too large for you or not. For many consanguinamorous couples related to first or second degree, they are, but certainly not for everyone. I’ve spoken online to people who have had healthy normal children by their immediate family members. For first cousins, the increased risk is only slightly above that of the general population, and the world over there are many many cousin couples who have healthy and normal babies.

It is also worth thinking about the societal context into which the child is born and the attitudes people hold towards such children. If you live in a country where first and second degree incest is illegal, and you have a child together, then the child becomes living biological proof of your relationship. Of course, you can always declare ‘unknown father’ on the birth certificate, and claim you had a drunken one night stand… some couples have to do this to hide their relationship from the state. This gets you off the hook for the time being, but what will you tell the child when he or she is older? Is it morally okay to keep their true parentage from them? If you tell them the truth, is it okay to ask them to bear your secret? I know it shouldn’t be like this, but these are the sorts of things you really need to think about long and hard before deciding to bring a child born of incest into a world that doesn’t even think he or she should exist. It’s a tough one, but it does need to be thought about. I cannot advise you or tell you what to do, but I can give you these things to think about.

If you really want your own biological baby, it is worth traveling to a country where incest is legal to get genetic counseling before considering to have a baby, that way you will better know what your risks are of something going wrong, and you will be able to assess more accurately for your particular genetics whether this is the right choice for you or not.

For those who choose to have children but not with a biological relative

There are a few good options available here, so let’s explore them:

Sperm Banks – Of course, this is simple enough. Any woman can use a sperm bank, and she can choose from a wide range of sperm donors. This method is perhaps the simplest because it doesn’t involve anyone else except peripherally. Usually the donor doesn’t know who gets his sperm donations or even necessarily how many biological children he fathers in this way. The child however may want to track down his or her biological father, and it is worth asking the sperm bank if this will be possible for the child at a later time. Not all sperm donor fathers would want their numerous biological children knocking his door, but some may not be against it. It’s something to think about.

Surrogacy – For this method you would require an unrelated woman to agree to carry a baby for you which would be genetically half hers, and half the mans. This is normally accomplished by IVF. She would need to be provided for financially for the course of her pregnancy and after the birth while she is recovering. Of course, after the birth, she will hand the child over to you. This is a real gift for somebody to give and such women deserve the highest of respect. It is worth noting that sometimes a surrogate mother develops a real attachment to the child, which is normal and natural, and she may find it difficult to part with that child. You would both need to discuss with her whether or not you would want her to be a part of the childs life or not and what the three of you are comfortable with.

Adoption – There are plenty of children who for whatever reason find themselves without parents or other adults to look after them. Some of them are abandoned babies, others are children which social services have had to remove from dangerous and dysfunctional homes, others were born to unfit parents who perhaps had drug addictions or something like that. If the child is a baby, then there is perhaps less problems with the adoption than if the child is older and has come from an abusive home. If the latter is case the reasons that the child went into care in the first place needs to be addressed along with the emotional and behavioral consequences of any abuse or neglect that child has suffered in their former home. This is a great way to give a needy child a home, and fulfill your own needs to have a child.

The above methods of becoming parents obviously negate any possible negative biological consequences, however there are still some considerations. How do you feel about each of the above options? Which, if any feels right for you? Will you tell your child how he or she was conceived or came into your care? If so, will you tell him or her about your incestuous relationship? As with biological children, there are ethical considerations either way of both hiding or revealing the whole truth, especially in countries where incest is against the law. It is something to think about at least.

For those who decide not to have children

Some people feel that all of the above is just too much, and they decide not to have either biological kids or go through surrogacy or adoption routes. For those people they simply choose not to have any. That’s okay too. For those couples it is worth thinking about permanent methods of contraception such as vasectomy or getting tubes tied. That is the most effective long term method of contraception. It is worth noting though that these operations can self-reverse after many years, so it is worth periodically getting checked out to ensure continued infertility. Of course, if you later change your mind, a second operation can of course reverse it.

If you’re unsure about whether or not you will want biological children, it might be worth using long term contraceptives such as the pill which is easy to stop taking if you change your mind.

CONCLUSION

Whichever course of action you choose, there are going to be pros and cons. Only you can know for sure what is right for you as a couple and your life in general. Don’t let other peoples bigotry and ignorance become the deciding factor for you, go with the facts that apply to you and make up your own mind either way. Nobody should have the right to tell you what to do, and it is outrageous that so many countries have laws that do just that. You have a right to a family life if you choose that, and like I said, it is probably best if you want to start a family to move to a country where that isn’t illegal.

Legalizing incest will help win the war against childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence
This article was written by my good friend Jane at consanguinamory.wordpress.com and with her permission i am posting it here:


Time and time again I’ve heard arguments from deeply ignorant and misinformed people on the internet that if incest ever gets legalized, it will lead to more children being molested by family members. This view stems from the fact that the media only tends to report the kind of cases where children are sexually abused by a relative. Needless to say, this does not show incest in a positive light… and yet the other side of the story is barely known.

In truth, the consanguinamorous community hates child molesting scumbags as much as any other group of people does, and we all want to do our part to ensure that people guilty of such horrific crimes against the most vulnerable members of society go where they deserve to be… in jail.

So what barriers are there that would stop our full participation in bringing such criminals to justice? For one, if one of them shows up at a site where incest is discussed, a lot of people are afraid to report it in case the law takes a look at the forum subject matter and decides to track down and arrest forum posters who have admitted online to being in an incestuous relationship. This is something that makes even me nervous… and I’m one of the loudest voices in the community being a blogger on the subject. About a month ago, some sicko tried his luck at joining Kindred, and while we were all nauseated and disgusted, and wanted to report him to the authorities after he revealed that he was looking for a woman to have children for him to have sex with. I banned him of course, and although we had his IP address we were not sure about how to make an anonymous report without bringing unwanted police attention to Kindred. It saddened me that we were too afraid to do what we should have been able to do in a heartbeat… report an abuser in the making who was actively seeking to create children to abuse them. I only hope that this sick bastard is caught before his dreams become a reality. It’s played on my mind ever since that we couldn’t make such a report without putting ourselves at risk… and if anyone knows a way please drop me an e-mail and let me know how… then I can let others know.

This is part of the harm that the anti-incest laws cause. It stops us from doing what we should be doing, PROTECTING THE CHILDREN. If any police or legislators are reading this, for the love of God think about how you treat our community, we really do want to help but you are making it impossible for us. This is an example of the hidden harms of unjust laws. Most people believe that banning incest protects kids… in this case it does the exact opposite.

Furthermore, by stigmatizing incest, children who are sexually abused by family members are also victims of that same stigma, making it more traumatic for them to bring their abusers to justice either at the time when it’s happening or later in life. They feel dirty and therefore they don’t want other people to know about it, which of course leads to more abuse and the predatory pedophile getting away with it. How does such a stigma help? Again, it doesn’t, it does the opposite of the intention.

Another sad side effect of the anti-incest legislation is it’s impact on peoples ability to do something about it if they’re in a domestic violence situation. What if say, a brother and sister live together for years with no problem, but then one of them loses their job, goes off the rails, gets drunk every day and starts hitting their sibling/spouse. How can the abused party get help from the law if he or she will also get jail time for consensual incest? See how absurd that really is… it prevents people from speaking out who are in abusive situations. Such cases are pretty rare within consanguinamory, but they do exist and those cases should be dealt with without the victim being put on trial as well.

We need to loudly and clearly stand up against abuse in all it’s forms… and the authorities can help us do just that by not discriminating against us and giving us equal rights. So lawmakers: IF YOU WANT TO STOP ABUSERS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEGALIZE CONSENSUAL INCEST TO ENABLE US TO HELP. For me this is a no-brainer and a blatantly obvious piece of common sense, but for some the message might come as a bit of a shock to the system.

How anti-incest prejudice and discrimination harms children
This was written by my good friend Jane of consanguinamory.wordpress.com and with her permisssion i am posting it here:


I’ve very recently been contacted by a woman who is married to her father and has had children with him, and the state has taken away their two healthy kids, and the children have since been adopted by other families. Sadly, their plight is not unusual, it is a part of the ongoing campaign of prejudice and discrimination levied against our people, and it doesn’t just harm these loving parents, it also harms the children involved.

Can you imagine being a small child, having a mother and father who love you and look after you, and the next minute you are ripped from your home and sent to live with strangers. Now these strangers might be nice, but you still want mum and dad. You are then systematically told that your parents are bad people and that is why you cannot live with them any more. Growing up you get told that they are disgusting perverts and deviants, and that you wouldn’t have been safe with them. You’re told that their relationship was WRONG and SICK and DISGUSTING, and that you’re the product of that ‘disgusting’ union.

What does this do to the self-identity of the child? If their parents were disgusting and created them by disgusting means, doesn’t that make the child feel disgusting? Wouldn’t that then make the child hate him or herself, as well as hate their birth parents? How is any of this healthy for the child? It isn’t! It is stigmatizing the child and the parents. In effect it is telling the child that he or she should not exist, and that he or she is defective. What a terrible and vile message to give to a child.

How the fuck can we justify taking children away from their loving families and subjecting them to this in the name of ‘child protection?’. We can’t! It’s insane, it’s abhorrent and it must stop. Child protection services are meant to be taking children away as a last resort measure, when the children come from homes where there is drug abuse, domestic violence, or a pedophile living there, or the children are neglected or otherwise abused… it should NEVER be a tool to be used in part to discriminate against a sector of society that does not harm anyone, let alone children.

Some people try to justify it using arguments like ‘if children are raised by incestuous parents, they will think it is normal and be brainwashed to be that way themselves’. Excuse me but that is complete horse shit. Same shitty argument was used to in times gone by to deny homosexual couples the right to adopt children or use surrogates, that it would somehow make the children gay. The vast majority if children raised by homosexuals turn out heterosexual, and guess what, the vast majority of children raised by consanguinamorous parents will turn out to be regulars! The sexual orientation of the parent has little or no impact on the sexual orientation of the children, so say otherwise is to be in denial of the evidence!

The other main objection is when people falsely conflate incest with pedophilia. They argue that incestuous people are more likely to sexually abuse children. This is again a false assumption. Pedophilia is when adults become sexually attracted to prepubescent children, it is an aberration that so far neither medicine nor psychology has been able to effectively treat. A pedophile may molest children who are related or unrelated. Those who are molesting their own children are likely doing so because of the easy access to them, not because they are related. It’s a lot harder for them to molest their neighbors children, for instance. Consanguinamorous people are ONLY interested sexually in other adults who are related to them. So then, why would somebody who is exclusively attracted to adults molest a child? They wouldn’t! It makes no sense, the whole argument is a nonsense.

The other one is that the children born are probably deformed because of the inbreeding. Again, so many healthy children are born to consanguine couples and there is no reason to take these kids away. Even in the instances that there are genetic problems, that is STILL no reason to remove the child from loving parents. You wouldn’t remove a downs syndrome baby from a home with two unrelated 45 year old parents would you? Of course not… so stop doing the equivalent to incest couples.

FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN’S WELFARE, STOP STIGMATIZING THEM AND US, STOP TAKING THEM INTO CARE FOR NO GOOD REASON AND THEN BRAINWASHING THEM AGAINST THEIR PARENTS WHO LOVE THEM, AND STOP SPREADING IGNORANCE AND FEAR ABOUT US. THE COMMON OBJECTIONS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN HATE-MONGERING AND LOGICAL FALLACIES.

Consanguinamory and mental health
This article was written by my good friend Jane of consanguinamory.wordpress.com with her permission I have posted it here:

Consanguinamory and mental health
In an ideal world it would be unnecessary for me to write an article like this. Nonetheless, it is an issue that affects most of us because of the discrimination we face just for being what we are, and the way in which the public and mental health professionals perceive us. I have touched upon this subject briefly in some of my articles, and but I feel it deserves an article of it’s own owing to it’s importance.

There is a perception that incest is inherently unhealthy and abusive, and that therefore the couple must be split into categories of ‘victim’ and ‘abuser’. While this is far from the truth, it matters little to the mental health professionals who then make assumptions that the ‘abuser’ must be sick and perverted, and that the ‘victim’ must be mentally damaged and should be helped to realize how ‘wrong’ the relationship was and accept their victim status and make subsequent steps to become a survivor of such abuse. This model works absolute wonders for people who have been sexually abused in childhood or who have been raped at any age, and I will acknowledge it’s usefulness and validity for these groups. However, where it should never be applied is consensual adult incest.

For a start, the words CONSENTING ADULTS speaks volumes. How can sex between consenting adults be an act of abuse? Obviously it can’t be, and arguments to the contrary would never be made about any ‘normal’ relationships, would they? No. So if a woman can consent to sex with a total stranger she just met in a bar, or her best friend, or the guy who comes around to clean her driveway every couple of weeks, why not with a male relative? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense now, does it?

Telling people who are in healthy, functional and loving incestuous relationships that they are abusers and victims is going to do something to their psyche. Because many incestuous people internalize the prejudices of society and become self-hating, these kinds of assumptions make them question things and ask themselves ARE they abuser and victim and are completely unaware of this fact. This is undoubtedly damaging to their mental health, and it is where psychology and psychiatry can cause more harm than good when it is based on faulty sets of assumptions. This only adds to their self-rejection and shame, and does nothing to help!

In addition to this, most incestuous couples live in fear of being discovered and jailed. Can you begin to imagine having to watch your every move in case the wrong person catches you in a compromising situation, even down to watching your own body language? Imagine knowing that discovery would also mean loss of friends, family and employment. This causes a lot of stress and it is no surprise that many people in such situations can sink into depression.

So if psychiatry is serious about helping abuse victims, let’s focus on people who actually ARE victims, not people who are in consensual adult relationships. Just because it’s incest doesn’t mean it’s abusive. Treating consensual adult incest as an abuser/victim dynamic CAUSES mental health problems that were not there to begin with. Furthermore persecution and forcing people to hide their love may lead to depression and anxiety issues, it CAUSES mental health issues.

So to psychiatrists and lawmakers: please review this because it is neither right nor fair to cause people mental health problems, or to declare them mentally ill when they are not. Our people are not abusers and victims, we are not crazy, we are normal people in relationships that differ from the prescribed norms of society. This is no different than how wrong everyone, including the psychiatrists, were about homosexuals in the past. Classifying us as crazy is to de-legitimize our feelings and love, and is actually an easy cop-out for those who are uncomfortable with the idea of incest. Please open your minds and hearts, and stop hurting people who are already suffering discrimination.

The amazing parallels between the consanguinamory rights movement and the LGBT movement
This article was written by Jane of consanguinamory.wordpress.com and i thought it was relevant to my site so with her permission I have posted it here:


This is a topic I’ve been meaning to write about for a little while, and now I finally decided to get around to it. As we all know, as recently ago in history as the 1950s, homosexuality was illegal, people found to be having gay sex were arrested, put on trial, convicted and imprisoned. Society told gay people that they were perverts, sick, mentally ill, disgusting, and sinners against God. Wait a moment, this tirade of pure nonsense sounds awfully familiar doesn’t it… OH OF COURSE, these are the very same things that consanguinamorous people have to deal with RIGHT NOW. Fortunately for gay people, they no longer have to put up with this crap in a large number of countries, and in many they have the legal right to marry if they choose. My message for us all today is that if the LGBT community could change hearts and minds, and change the world for the better for themselves, THEN SO CAN WE!

Lets take a look at some of the most frequent statements said of gay people in the 1950s:

That’s not natural
That’s disgusting and gross
That’s immoral
That’s a sin
Children brought up around that will end up perverted too or mentally damaged
Legalizing that would lead to pedophilia being legal
Isn’t that some sort of code word for child molesting?
That’s a hazard to health
People who do things like that are mentally ill
Why the hell would anyone want to do that?
A pretty horrible and ignorant list you’d say, and you’re right of course. If you were presented with this list, would you be able to tell whether or not it was a list of what they said then about gays, or what they currently say about consanguinamory? I doubt anyone could.

So, both their movement and ours start from the same starting block. In many countries the LGBT movement has already crossed the finish line in the race for equality. We however have barely got off the starting block. While this may seem most unfair it gives us a special advantage, we can learn from the LGBT movement and their struggle for their rights. We also have one rather large advantage that they didn’t have back then… the Internet.

The first stage of any great movement is gathering the community together. Back in the 50s and 60s, gay people began to hang out together and actively seek each other. This is important for two main reasons. Firstly, it gave them a sense of solidarity and community, very important as a basis for any civil rights movement. Secondly, it gave those who were struggling to come to terms with their sexuality a means to feel more normal, an alternative to internalizing societal hate. When the confusion subsides it leads, very understandably, to anger. This special kind of anger is the one that can be channeled very positively into making others understand that they are WRONG about that group of people and should not be hating on them.

As you can tell, the consanguinamorous people are at the very earliest stages of our movement, we too are beginning to hang our together, albeit online. Some of us, like myself and those I link to, are speaking out and putting information out there for others to read. Of course this will help people to feel more normal, and it will lead to that special anger that causes people to become active themselves and be a part of making that difference. I can honestly say that this is such an important thing, to be what we are without shame or fear, and show the world what we are. Take pride in our identity as consanguinamorous people, and love yourself for who and what you are. You have no reason to feel ashamed any more!

Of course, gay people had to debunk the list above, and we must do the same. We must show in our writings how invalid do not count as reasonable grounds to keep something illegal. After all, take for instance ‘it’s immoral’… that’s not true anyway because for something to be immoral it would necessarily have to cause harm, but even if it was that isn’t a good reason to ban it by law. Cheating is immoral but some people do it anyway and there isn’t any laws against it! This is just one small example, and I cover these debunked arguments much more thoroughly in other essays so I do not need to repeat it all here.

Aside from that, we mustn’t be afraid to show our humanity. Many people respond much more readily to easily accessible and engaging human beings rather than aloof logical postings. Show your emotions when you write if you choose to become a part of the movement, it goes a long way. I’m not saying necessarily tug at heartstrings, just be yourself and let your readers get to know what sort of person you are in a more general way. That way they will see you as a human being, rather than just an unknown entity with the ‘incest’ label with all the bad connotations that brings. Being seen as people is the goal because PEOPLE HAVE RIGHTS, where labels do not.

Of course, over a period of time, the online activism will lead to offline activism. One day our people will take to the street with banners and slogans just as the LGBT movement did before us. We will spread the message far and wide, and our allies can help us out even more at this crucial stage. There will be debates on TV and radio, there will be newspaper articles and books being written. Ultimately, the result for us will be very favorable indeed, we will be accepted and appreciated. Our love will be celebrated at last.

Even when our sexuality is legalized, there will still be one final thing to fight for… the rights of marriage. We should not rest until the very first consanguinamorous couples walk out of the registers office with a certificate of marriage.

The ten rules of keeping your relationship a secret
I wrote a similar article a while back, but the info in this article is also great so I wanted to post Jane's article as well. This was borrowed from Jane at consanguinamory.wordpress.com


Okay, this article is meant as a practical guide for staying out of legal trouble whilst continuing in a consanguinamorous relationship, and is aimed at anyone who is in such a relationship and is living in a country where it is illegal. It’s sad that incest is even an issue, but sadly we are discriminated against and treated as criminals simply for falling in love with people who are close relatives.

Rule one: Trust no-one

This may seem obvious, but don’t tell anyone. Not your other relatives, not your best friend, not even your children unless you absolutely have to. There is sadly a perception that it’s safe to tell LGBT friends, and while this may sometimes be the case, it often isn’t… so please don’t run the risk. It is true that homosexuals also suffer from prejudice, but it doesn’t mean that they are all necessarily going to support consanguinamory. To be fair there are LGBT people who are supportive of us, but there are also those who are not. Unfortunately there is no way to tell who is and isn’t safe to tell.

People to be extra cautious around would be anyone who is excessively ‘moralistic’ and rigid in their thinking, like very religious people. Don’t tell people who have already expressed disgust at consanguinamory (for instance people who say cousins being together is icky). Oh, and don’t tell anyone who is homophobic, if they react that way to gay people imagine how they would react to incest.

Furthermore, don’t even tell your doctor or therapist. They may have doctor/patient confidentiality, but they are legally obliged to disclose anything about illegal relationships to the cops.

Rule two: Behave as family when out and about

This means no hand holding, snogging and groping, or calling each other pet names or ‘sexy’ whilst in public. You might run into somebody who knows you as family members and them finding out this way would be likely to go down like a lead balloon. I realize this might be difficult because the family role and the lovers role can be so intertwined, but it is necessary for your security. This rule however may be relaxed when visiting a safe foreign country together, for instance if you went for a weekend break in France.

Rule three: No sexting when drunk

I say this because it is possible to send a message to the wrong person by mistake, everyone has sent messages to the wrong recipient when they’ve had a few too many. Sending a sext to the wrong person is embarrassing for anyone, but sending one that incriminates you in this way is a whole lot worse. Again, a bad way to get caught out.

Rule four: Delete your browser history and your text messages

If other people also use your computer, it is worth deleting your browsing history if you have been on any websites that discuss incest. You don’t want people rummaging through your private business anyway but it is easy to do this to stay safe. Also if anyone is particularly nosy pay attention to which messages are stored. Any that are incriminating should be deleted as soon as they have been read and replied to.

Rule five: Restrict physical intimacy until you are SURE that you have time alone

This is another no-brainer, but it is essential to make sure that you are not going to be caught red-handed. If you live in a house with others, it might, for instance, be sensible to wait until everyone else is asleep (and obviously make sure that you don’t be too noisy and wake people up!).

Rule six: If there isn’t a lock on your bedroom door, get one!

This applies mostly to people who are sharing a house with others. Even when rule 5 is observed, it is possible for somebody to come home early, or to wake in the night to get a drink or use the loo… either way, getting caught is BAD. If you install a lock, it means you can’t be caught. If they hear anything, you could reasonably claim to have been watching porn.

Rule seven: Draw your curtains/close the blinds

You may have locked your door, but if the neighbors across the road can see what you’re doing then the game is up. It goes without saying… make sure you aren’t seen. The only time curtain closing isn’t important is if you live in the middle of nowhere or if you’re living in a flat in a high building and the inside of your flat cannot be seen by anyone from any other building.

Rule eight: Don’t pull up and have sex in the car

Might seem obvious, but passers by, including cops, might be interested to see what is happening. Imagine if somebody stops wondering if you broke down, only to find you at it in the car… even if they don’t know you they will probably notice how strongly you resemble each other and call the cops.

Rule Nine: Have a show room

By this I mean have a ‘room each’. One of these rooms is obviously just for show so that others visiting you don’t catch on to the fact you share a room. Try and make it look as lived in as possible, so one of you must keep your clothes in there… even down to maybe leaving laundry about and perhaps leaving some items out and about… like books, hairbrushes, deodorant or other personal products. If people are going to buy that the room belongs to one of you, it has to look the part.

Rule Ten: Destroy used condoms and keep sex toys extra clean

Most people just throw used condoms out in the trash… but that will count as evidence against you if such evidence exists. Better to burn them instead and destroy the evidence. Also ensure that any sex toys are thoroughly cleaned for the same reasons… if BOTH lots of DNA are on them it can also be counted as evidence.

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Why the consanguinamory movement should shun political correctness
This article was written by Jane at consanguinamory.wordpress.com I felt it was relevant to my site so I am reposting it here with her permission:


At times we look around at all of the hateful comments made against us, and it feels as though the world is stacked against us. It’s very easy for us to want all that hate to just go away, or at least be out of sight. Let’s face it, it’s not nice having to deal with prejudice and bigotry, and sadly incestophobia is everywhere.

However, during our future campaigns around the world for our rights, I would urge this movement NOT to succumb to the temptation of silencing our critics by making it taboo to criticize us. So far there hasn’t been a single criticism against consensual adult incest that has not been discredited or proven logically to be an invalid argument… even the mutant babies argument holds no real water. So each and every time our people are exposed to incestophobic bigoted nonsense, rather than launch personal attacks or tell the offending poster to ‘shut the fuck up’ (as tempting as it is to do just that), we should use these instances as examples of illogical stupidity, to demonstrate the frailty and lack of substance in these arguments.

In truth we have everything to gain by maintaining the rights to free speech for all sides of the debate. Yes, it means that even bigoted morons can have their say, but our logic and sense of fairness can and will win out. We cannot demand our rights whilst demanding that the rights of others be curtailed, that would be both hypocritical and conceited. We’re stronger than that and we’re better than that. The arguments for our liberation are in fact so strong that we have absolutely nothing to fear from our critics.

As the public become more and more educated about GSA and incest, the rate of incestophobic stupidity will see a steady decline, as you would expect. As a result of this, those who still insist on coming out with such nonsense will be taken less and less seriously. So what is now felt as a deep wound to us will in future become a thing to be laughed at. So rather than nodding in agreement with the bigot, the more educated people of tomorrow will listen to him or her and just go ‘Jeez, what a bigoted arsehole, what his/her problem?’ People will pay less and less attention as their voices against us become more and more shrill.

Eventually, most of them will fall silent anyway, realizing that they have little prospect of a sympathetic audience from the general public. Some pockets of it may remain, as pockets of homophobia still remain. So while we may never stamp out incestophobia in it’s entirety, we can greatly reduce it to negligible levels by education alone. It’s going to take time of course, but this is by far the best way of doing it.

We’re asking for our rights, but we do not have the right to curtail the right of free speech to others, no matter how invalid or ridiculous their opinions. We do however retain the right to respond to such bigoted comments, sarcastically if we wish to, provided that it is not done in a personal way, attack the argument (even sarcastically if you like), not the person. In this way we will rise above the petty stupidity and get to the meat and potatoes of the debate… which is where we will win ground, each and every time. We do not need to be defended or protected from criticism, because there is no valid arguments that can be used against consanguinamory.

Accidental incest and prolific sperm donors
This article was written by Jane at consanguinamory.wordpress.com and I, Cristina, provided her with the articles and info she used to create this aricle:

Accidental incest and prolific sperm donors.
My friend over at lilysgardner.com has provided me with a few links to news articles in recent years about just how many children a single sperm donor can sire, at times without his knowledge, and in one of these cases over eight hundred children.

In many of these cases, the sperm donors were assured that their samples would only be used to produce a small number of children, as one article explains:

Sperm donors too are becoming concerned. “When I asked specifically about how many children might result, I was told nobody knows for sure, but that five would be a safe estimate,” says a sperm donor in Texas who asked his name be withheld because of privacy concerns. “I was told that it would be very rare for a donor to have more than 10 children.”
He later discovered in the Donor Sibling Registry that some donors had dozens of children listed.
Personally, I think this is very unethical behavior on the part of the Sperm Banks. They should be honest with their donors about how many children they are likely to be producing in this way.

Another article says:

“There are no rules or regulations about donor identification, testing donors, monitoring numbers of children or medical records,” Kramer said. “No one is watching. There are no laws.
“They recruit young college kids with no education and no counseling for the donors,” she said. “They are lied to and told there will never be any more than 10 kids out there. They don’t keep track.”
Again, that’s awful. There definitely needs to be more regulation of the industry.

I can fully understand a donors desire for privacy, and at the same time I can also fully understand a donor childs desire to know at least in the basic, who their biological father is. After all, everyone has the right to know who their biological family are… right? I am of the belief that it would be better if at the very least the sperm donors were asked a series of family health questions and perhaps provide blood tests so that the recipients of the sperm know about his genetic health and any potential inheritable diseases. This kind of information is vital for the resulting child who may need this information for their own medical files.

Interestingly, many families choose not to tell their kids that they were conceived in this way. This is understandable because the sperm donor is just that, a donor, not the man helping to raise the child. But at the same time it is withholding the truth from the child, as I have said, everyone has the right to know their own parentage.

So, what does any of this have to do with the subject of my blog? Quite a lot actually. One of these articles states:

The same sperm donor should not be used to create so many children because of the risk that two of the offpsring will unwittingly meet and start a family of their own, which could cause serious genetic problems in their children.
This can and does happen, it’s called ‘accidental incest’. As we have already explored on another essay on my blog, it has been scientifically proven that people are hardwired to find similar looking people more attractive. Of course when the Westermarck effect is absent, as it surely would be for two half-siblings who don’t even know that they are half-siblings when they meet, there can be an instantaneous and intense attraction between these two people and they would not realize that they are actually having some feelings similar to GSA in terms of them noticing their similarities. On occasion they may never know, especially if their respective families never even told them how they were conceived. Some may later find out and have their marriages annulled because of the incest laws.

Surely all of the secrecy that seems to come with sperm donation does have it’s downside and it can ruin families. Wouldn’t it be better if all children knew their real parentage to begin with? It would save people from this kind of pain. So if two siblings choose to be together, they can do so in full knowledge of the facts, including the genetic health of their biodad, as this will be ESPECIALLY important were a pregnancy to result. There is an increased risk associated with incestuous pregnancies anyway, but not as high as is generally believed. This said, all such pregnancies should be very carefully considered, and it is better if all the facts are known, including any family history of potential genetic nasties. People can only make sound reproductive choices if they do indeed have access to all the facts that they should have access to.

Transparency in the sperm donation industry is important for moral reasons and for medical reasons. But not ALL of the responsibility is on the sperm banks, some of it is also on the families who become pregnant using donated sperm samples, they should be honest with the resulting child about his or her biodad for all of the same reasons.

So what should a couple do if they do later down the line, after they have married and had children, discover that they are in fact half-siblings? I would imagine this would be quite the mindfuck to a lot of people, a complete and utter shock to the system. The options available to them are clear: They could split up, or they could stay together. I do not think it is right or fair for society to make this choice for them by annulling their marriages or throwing them in jail if they wish to remain a couple after the facts become known to them… remember these are people who have spent many years as husband and wife. Feelings don’t necessarily just vanish because society says that they should.

I think support should be available to people who have gone through the emotional turmoil of accidental incest, rather than condemnation. Support for these kinds of issues is something that is very uncommon in the world, and I think that this community should open it’s arms in support of these people and welcome them. We could surely help these people better than those who know nothing of consanguineous love.

No Comment
Note: I wrote an article about dealing with law enforcement in the USA, Jane wrote a similar article inspired by me to write one pertaining to people living in the UK. it comes from her website consanguinamory.wordpress.com I have pasted it here:

No Comment
This article is inspired by my friend Cristina, who wrote her article on how to deal with the law a little while back, although hers is on how to deal with the American police. In the UK the processes and laws are a bit different than how they are in America, although there are some similarities. I believe other European countries probably have similar processes when somebody is arrested that they do here, although the exact process in each country has to be checked. Actually, it’s sad that articles like this are even necessary, but the truth is that once in a while, people get caught.

When people are arrested, they are processed (booked into the cells and personal info taken) and they are automatically assigned a lawyer. If you can afford one, then you are allowed to choose a different lawyer privately. At the time of arrest, suspects are read their rights. The arresting officer will say “[insert name of suspect] I am arresting you under suspicion of [insert crime], you do not have to say anything, but anything you do say may be given in evidence”.

It is then the burden of the state to prove that you are in fact guilty of the crime that you are suspected of. This means that police are allowed to search your home, and take your computer…etc in a bid to find evidence. Meanwhile at the station, the police can question you. I would suggest to anyone who is arrested on suspicion of incest, simply say ‘no comment’ to any question that they ask you, no matter how emotionally provoking. The police may try to trick you into saying that your partner/relative has confessed… do not fall for this trap. Keep your cool and carry on with the ‘no comment’ responses. If you both do this, then there is no confession to go on. Also, if they cannot find any evidence at your home, then they are left with no evidence either.

I would suggest to anyone who is in such a relationship to follow these rules to avoid getting suspected in the first place. But if you do have the misfortune of being suspected, just no comment all interviews unless your lawyer instructs you to do otherwise, he or she would only do this if there is enough evidence for them to charge you. Also incinerate any used condoms and the like to ensure that there is no physical evidence present in your home. Remember, you do not have to prove your innocence, it is the state that must prove your guilt. If they cannot find sufficient evidence, and neither of you confess, then the police have no choice but to release you after 24 hours.

Equality is only Equality if it Applies to everryone
Note, Cristina was not involved in this article. Jane was enspired to write this. I am just sharing her informative article on my website. Cristina

Everyone these days believes in equality, or at least believes they believe in equality. When it is pointed out that there still court sanctioned oppression going on in the modern western world, their reaction is to deny it and point to the fact that homosexual and lesbian relationships are recognized and and validated by the law. In their eyes, if you can have a gay marriage or a straight marriage, then there must be equality right?
Wrong! Accepting and validating gay marriage was one very important step towards equality, but it was a first step, not the only step. Yes, there is equality for gay people… but what about other sexual minorities which are denied their equal rights? What about polyamorous marriages where people would be allowed to marry more than one person if they chose to and everyone consented? Why is that not allowed? I mean, it’s legal for somebody to have more than one sexual partner at the same time, and it’s legal to have children with multiple people, so why is it not legal to marry those same people? It’s clearly a complete nonsense!
And what of us, consanguinamorous people. It is legal for me to have an orgy with a group of complete strangers if I wanted to, or to marry a stranger. Yet I would never have been allowed to marry my father, who I loved more than anyone in the world. Not only would we have been denied our right to marry, but had we been caught having a relationship we would both have gone to prison. How is that in any way justifiable? It isn’t.
How ‘tolerant’ are we as a society really? I’d say a lot less tolerant than people realize. While homophobia is socially unacceptable, and rightfully so, incestophobia is not only allowed, it is actively encouraged and participated in by the state. Ordinary men and women, who are otherwise law abiding find themselves in the predicament of having to deny their love for each other or run the risk of being incarcerated. It wastes police time and taxpayers money, and it causes a great deal of distress to the couples and their families. All of this is employed to oppress a group of people who harm nobody, people who did nothing more than just fall in love. These actions on behalf of the state are immoral and an injustice.
Armchair eugenicists try time and again to employ the wholly discredited mutant babies argument. Holding incest couples to a higher standard than the rest of humanity. If one group of people are denied their rights because they have a higher chance of producing a child with health problems, then why are all such groups not similarly denied their rights? Like women over forty, people who are known to take illegal drugs, smoke and drink heavily, or need to take medications which could harm an unborn baby, and people who carry known genetic disorders. This is what’s called a double standard. One rule for one group and one rule for another… and people think that there is ‘equality’ already, get real, this isn’t equality at all. Let’s start with holding everyone to the same standards. Clearly oppressing vast swathes of the populations relationship and reproductive choices is not an option, but legalizing incest clearly is.
Every single argument against equal rights for incest couples can be similarly debunked, and I have done so over the many articles I have written on this website. So let’s not pretend we have equality in our culture when that is not the case. Let’s face up to the fact that incestophobia needs tackling with education, and these outrageous and discriminatory laws need striking from the books, and the sooner the better. Let’s go even further, let’s have FULL equal rights including the right to legally recognized marriage. For a time, the haters will hate, but in the end they will be proven to be wrong, bigoted and plenty stupid. People, it’s time for change.

Accidental Incest and Prolific Sperm Donors
This article was written by Jane Doe. I, Cristina, did the legwork, and research for the topic. And Jane wrote it into a comprehensive and wonderful article

My friend over at www.lilysgardenercom has provided me with a few links to news articles in recent years here, here, here and here, about just how many children a single sperm donor can sire, at times without his knowledge, and in one of these cases over eight hundred children.
In many of these cases, the sperm donors were assured that their samples would only be used to produce a small number of children, as one article explains:
Sperm donors too are becoming concerned. “When I asked specifically about how many children might result, I was told nobody knows for sure, but that five would be a safe estimate,” says a sperm donor in Texas who asked his name be withheld because of privacy concerns. “I was told that it would be very rare for a donor to have more than 10 children.”
He later discovered in the Donor Sibling Registry that some donors had dozens of children listed.
Personally, I think this is very unethical behavior on the part of the Sperm Banks. They should be honest with their donors about how many children they are likely to be producing in this way.
Another article says:
“There are no rules or regulations about donor identification, testing donors, monitoring numbers of children or medical records,” Kramer said. “No one is watching. There are no laws.
“They recruit young college kids with no education and no counseling for the donors,” she said. “They are lied to and told there will never be any more than 10 kids out there. They don’t keep track.”
Again, that’s awful. There definitely needs to be more regulation of the industry.
I can fully understand a donors desire for privacy, and at the same time I can also fully understand a donor childs desire to know at least in the basic, who their biological father is. After all, everyone has the right to know who their biological family are… right? I am of the belief that it would be better if at the very least the sperm donors were asked a series of family health questions and perhaps provide blood tests so that the recipients of the sperm know about his genetic health and any potential inheritable diseases. This kind of information is vital for the resulting child who may need this information for their own medical files.
Interestingly, many families choose not to tell their kids that they were conceived in this way. This is understandable because the sperm donor is just that, a donor, not the man helping to raise the child. But at the same time it is withholding the truth from the child, as I have said, everyone has the right to know their own parentage.
So, what does any of this have to do with the subject of my blog? Quite a lot actually. One of these articles states:
The same sperm donor should not be used to create so many children because of the risk that two of the offpsring will unwittingly meet and start a family of their own, which could cause serious genetic problems in their children.
This can and does happen, it’s called ‘accidental incest’. As we have already explored onanother essay on my blog, it has been scientifically proven that people are hardwired to find similar looking people more attractive. Of course when the Westermarck effect is absent, as it surely would be for two half-siblings who don’t even know that they are half-siblings when they meet, there can be an instantaneous and intense attraction between these two people and they would not realize that they are actually having some feelings similar to GSA in terms of them noticing their similarities. On occasion they may never know, especially if their respective families never even told them how they were conceived. Some may later find out and have their marriages annulled because of the incest laws.
Surely all of the secrecy that seems to come with sperm donation does have it’s downside and it can ruin families. Wouldn’t it be better if all children knew their real parentage to begin with? It would save people from this kind of pain. So if two siblings choose to be together, they can do so in full knowledge of the facts, including the genetic health of their biodad, as this will be ESPECIALLY important were a pregnancy to result. There is an increased risk associated with incestuous pregnancies anyway, but not as high as is generally believed. This said, all such pregnancies should be very carefully considered, and it is better if all the facts are known, including any family history of potential genetic nasties. People can only make sound reproductive choices if they do indeed have access to all the facts that they should have access to.
Transparency in the sperm donation industry is important for moral reasons and for medical reasons. But not ALL of the responsibility is on the sperm banks, some of it is also on the families who become pregnant using donated sperm samples, they should be honest with the resulting child about his or her biodad for all of the same reasons.
So what should a couple do if they do later down the line, after they have married and had children, discover that they are in fact half-siblings? I would imagine this would be quite the mindfuck to a lot of people, a complete and utter shock to the system. The options available to them are clear: They could split up, or they could stay together. I do not think it is right or fair for society to make this choice for them by annulling their marriages or throwing them in jail if they wish to remain a couple after the facts become known to them… remember these are people who have spent many years as husband and wife. Feelings don’t necessarily just vanish because society says that they should.
I think support should be available to people who have gone through the emotional turmoil of accidental incest, rather than condemnation. Support for these kinds of issues is something that is very uncommon in the world, and I think that this community should open it’s arms in support of these people and welcome them. We could surely help these people better than those who know nothing of consanguineous love.

Dear Kim West and Ben Ford
Dear Kim and Ben,

I am a Legal Secretary and advocate for the rights of consenting adults to have love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults.

I have been following your story on the internet closely and I think it is absolutely awful that law enforcement has forced you into hiding.

I have experience with GSA so I completely understand what you both are going through. I congratulate you on finding love and happiness together.

Due to the oppressive laws that you both are forced to live and love under, I feel deeply for you and your situation.

If you are reading this, please know that you have a friend, ally, and advocate in me. I want to help you in any way I can. I would welcome contact and would do anything I could to help you.

Please check out my website www.lilysgardener.com

If you want to contact me completely confidentially, please email me at lilysgardener@protonmail.com

Kind Regards to you both, Cristina

A mother and son find love after being reunited
There has been a big stir on the internet about a mother who gave her son up for adoption just 1 week after he was born.

Now the woman, Kim, is 51, and her son, Ben is 32. When they were reunited, they developed GSA ( genetic sexual attraction). They are both obviously consenting adults. They live together now and reside in Michigan.

When they met, Ben was married, and the attraction he felt for his biological mother was so strong that he was honest with himself and his wife and he got a divorce. In my opinion, he did what was right for him. He didn't lie or cheat, he did everything honestly.

Now Ben and Kim are in a happy and loving relationship, and just like any other couple they want to get married and have children together. unfortunately, the law says that they are in violation of incest laws, and even though they are both consenting adults who are not hurting anyone, nor have there been any complaints to the authorities of abuse, they could be facing a 3rd degree felony, and 15 years in prison, simply for being together and having sex.

To me this is extremely unfair and a gross miscarriage of justice. They are not hurting anyone and the police need to leave them alone. There are more pressing issues the police need to spend their time investigating such as rape, pedophilia and violence. There is no good reason for the police to concern themselves with what consenting adults do within their own homes and bedrooms.

Their story is a classic story of GSA (genetic sexual attration). According to the British Medical Journal up to 50% of people who are reunited with family members after they are adults experience this phenomenon called Genetic Sexual Attraction. When family members are reunited later in life they can sometimes experience an overwhelming love and emotion, including sexual emotion towards each other. This is perfectly normal for these situations.

I hope with time, more studies will begin and an understanding of this phenomenon will help the public to realize that the police have no business getting involved in situations like this.

My very best wishes to Kim and Ben.

Consanguinamory and dealing with the police
Dealing With the Police

When people are in consanguinamorous relationships, they must sometimes deal with the police unfortunately. So this article will cover how to deal with the USA law enforcement when they come to your house. This will not cover traffic stops or anything outside the home.

You may wonder how it would come about that the police might come knocking on your door. There are several scenarios in which this could happen. Some possibilities include a neighbor becoming suspicious of your relationship and calling the police. Or an ex lover may start to suspect, or know about your relationship and call the police. Or a teacher may become suspicious if your child accidentally says something without knowing they are incriminating you. Or you may mention your situation to your trusted Doctor and then the doctor breaks confidentiality and calls the authorities. Any of the scenarios I just mentioned could lead to the police knocking on your door to question you or investigate you.

One of the biggest mistakes people make in this situation is to open the door and to answer the questions the police ask. DO NOT admit to your relationship if you live in a state where adult consensual incest is illegal. You may assume that if you reassure the police that both of you are adults and are both consenting to incestuous sex that the police will go away. This is NOT true in most places, and you are incriminating yourself by admitting to your relationship. So rule number 1 never never never admit to a sexual relationship with your relative. Deny deny deny is ALWAYS the best course of action if you have already answered the door. The police need proof to bring charges. Do not give them proof by admitting to anything.

Another thing most people do not know is that if the police knock on your door, you DO NOT have to answer the door at all. Once you make the mistake of opening the door, the police are going to want to pressure you into inviting them inside your house. The police are like vampires, they cannot come inside without a search warrant unless they are invited. They will use all sorts of scare tactics, intimidation, and threats to get you to invite them in so they can have a look around. Just ignore the door. If the police have a search warrant, then they can bust the door down and come in without your permission. If they knock and they do not have a search warrant, then they will knock and pound on the door and if you ignore them, they will go away eventually. You are under no obligation to open the door just because it is the police that are knocking.

If you make the mistake of opening the door for them, they can use dirty tricks like wedging their foot in the door so you cannot close it again. So it is always best to ignore the knocking. But if you do happen to make the mistake of opening the door, then the questions will begin. As soon as they ask you the first question, the best thing to do is ignore the question, and ask them for their search warrant. If they do not have one, then the next thing you should do is say the magic words, I want my attorney present before you question me on anything. These magic words will cause the police to stop all questions until your attorney is present to assist you.

If the police persist after you say this, then I highly recommend you begin recording their behavior. Grab your phone and activate the camera. Let them know that you are recording the conversation or filming it. This will usually discourage them from terrorizing you further at your residence. It is amazing how well they behave when they know they are being recorded. This is a very powerful tool and you should always utilize recording options when they are available to you.

It is unfortunate that the police in the USA are like a terrorist organization in itself. The police will always stick together, and they are not here to help you. They can bully you, lie to you, intimidate you, and threaten you and this behavior is perfectly acceptable to them.

So knowing all of this, NEVER open the door when the police come knocking. NEVER admit to your relationship with your family member. NEVER answer any questions without your attorney present. And ALWAYS record their behavior when you come into contact with them. By taking these precautions, you can keep you and your family safe from being terrorized by the police.

Good luck and be safe everyone. And remember THE POLICE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.

I think my family member is in a consanguinamorous (adult consensutl incest) relationship, what should I do?
So, you think your adult family members are in an adult consensual incestuous relationship. I prefer to call this a consanguinamorous relationship. But whichever term you prefer, the situation is the same. What should i do?, you ask.... Well, the short answer is don't do anything. I mean, they are adults, they are in a loving relationship, they are happy with each other. Why would you want to interfere? I am sure you wouldn't want someone to interfere in your relationship.

But it's gross you say? Well that's ok if you think it's gross. You may also think oral sex is gross, or anal sex is gross, or gay sex is gross, or sex between people of different races is gross. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But in each of the situations I just mentioned, You would not interfere, because all of these situations are protected under the law now. So just because you think it is gross does not give you the right to interfere just because you personally think something is gross.

But adult consensual incest is illegal you say? Ok, currently consanguinamory is illegal in many places but not everywhere. 3 examples are New Jersey, Rhode Island, and Ohio. If you don't believe me, just go have a look at the state statutes. It is illegal for your family members to get married, yes. But in those three states i listed, they are not breaking any laws by living together, loving each other, or having sex with each other. And as time changes, the laws will change too. It was not that long ago that it was illegal for different races to be together. It was not long ago that it was illegal for gay people to get married. Just because a law exists does not mean it should be enforced. Some laws really need to be changed. And any laws that seek to prevent adults that are in consensual relationships from being together definitely need to be changed.

But they could have deformed children you say? That argument is old and tired. The chances of deformities are minimal at best. There are many couples who are not related who carry recessive or dominant genes for dwarfism, Tay-Sachs, Club Foot syndrome, Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, Downs Syndrome, and women over the age of 35. All of these things I just mentioned have a risk of being passed on to the genetic children, and we do not forbid people in these categories from reproducing. Just as we should not prevent people who are consanguinamorous from having children. This should be a personal choice that is the decision of the people involved.

What you SHOULD do is ask yourself the same things you would ask if your family member was in any other relationship. Are they abusive towards each other? Are they loving towards each other? Are they happy together? Are they hurting anyone by being together? By asking the same questions you would ask when you see any other people in relationships you will come to realize that your best course of action is not to interfere, but rather to be supportive. Or to be neutral. It really is none of your business. Just like your relationship, sex life, and happiness is nobody else's business either.

I hope this post helps family members of consanguinamorous people to get some of their questions answered. If you have further questions or need to speak with me confidentially, please contact me through my "contact" page. I am more than happy to listen and assist if you need me.

Incest suspects jailed again
This is an article that is a follow up to the first article "Local mother, son face charges of incest. I am including the follow up link here :

http://www.cnjonline.com/2016/03/11/incest-suspects-jailed-again/

It appears that the couple bonded out of jail, but there was a no contact order which they supposedly violated. So now the couple has unfortunately been jailed yet again.

They have secured a public defender, (which probably won't help them any since it's not a private attorney). This is a terrible miscarriage of justice. These two consenting adults are not harming anyone. What they do in their bedroom is nobody's business but their's.

I hope in the future, they will receive a favorable outcome in the court system. I have included links to the articles in a small article links section on this page for those that wish to read the articles. And of course, I will continue to update about this case as it happens.

mother and son face charges of incest
I came across a heartbreaking story about a mother and son who are both consenting adults. They are being prosecuted for being together. I have copied the link here :

http://www.cnjonline.com/2016/03/10/local-mother-son-face-charges-of-incest/

Basically, The couple met when both of them were adults. They fell in love and have been together. And now the authorities are poking their unneeded and unwelcome noses into the couples bedroom. I find this to be appalling. The couple are not hurting anyone. They are both adults, and are consenting to be with each other. The government has no right to get into this.

What a shame that law enforcement is wasting valuable resources prosecuting consenting adults, when their time and money would be much better spent prosecuting murderers, rapists, pedophiles and other violent criminals.

I will be following this case and posting updates as more news comes in.

Consensual Incest FAQ
Note: This article was borrowed and adapted with permission from the Full Marriage Equality Blog.

Consensual Incest FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions and Hopefully Helpful Answers About Consensual Incest, Consanguineous Sex and Marriage, and Consanguinamory


1a. What is incest?

The term “incest” is used in two ways when intended to be taken literally:

1. Rape, sexual assault, or molestation by a close family member or relative.

2. Consensual sex or marriage between close family members or relatives.
Those are two very different things. In either case, “close” is not the same everywhere. Sometimes, first cousins are included or step-relations are included, sometimes not. I refer to the second definition as consanguinamory, if it actually involves genetic relatives. These answers below are in reference to consensual incest, either by blood (consanguinamory) or affinity.


1b. Is this incest?

This is answered above


1c. What is Genetic Sexual Attraction?

Genetic Sexual Attraction is an intense attraction when genetic relatives who have been separated for significant amounts of time, often since birth, or have never met, are reunited or introduced during or after puberty. The attraction may or may not be mutual, but is estimated to occur within up to 50% of people in such situations.


1d. Is Genetic Sexual Attraction incest?

Genetic Sexual Attraction is a phenomenon that may or may not actually lead to sex. However, if sex is involved, it is not incest from the sociological perspective, but still may be considered incest by outsiders, including law enforcement, as it is incest in the genetic sense.


1e. What is consanguinamory?

Consanguinamory is sexual or romantic love between close genetic or blood relatives. Someone is consanguinamorous if they are in or oriented to a romantic, dating, courting, or marital relationship or engaging in sex with a close relative. Consanguineous sex can be expected between those who practice consanguinamory.



2. How common is consensual incest or consanguinamory?

Nobody knows exactly, but based on studies, and the stories shared by numerous people, it is more common than most people think.



3a. Why is consensual incest illegal?

There are many reasons given that have been discredited. However, the short answer is because the laws that need to change have not been changed yet.

3b. Can siblings marry?

In some countries, yes. In the USA, no.


4b. Isn't consensual incest disgusting?

To some people, it is. To others it is natural, normal, or exciting. Some people are disgusted by the thought of BDSM, others by interracial sex, others by heterosexual sex, others by the thought of gay sex, others by the thought of oral sex, others by the thought of anal sex, others by the thought of their parents having sex, others by the thought of any sex at all. The beauty of letting consenting adults do what they want to do is that you don’t have to do anything that disgusts you. You may find it disgusting, but others find it beautiful, enjoyable, and fulfilling.


4c. Why would anyone do consensual incest?

There are many reasons, but the short answer is that each person is different, and what may be right for one person, may not be right for another person. GSA can also play a part in whether consensual incest is right for you or not.



5a. Doesn't incest mean abuse?

Incest doesn’t mean abuse any more than sex in general means sexual assault or rape. Do these people sound like they are abusing/being abused?


5b. Doesn't incest make mutant babies?

No. The risk of genetic defects is no higher than with nonconsanguinous people who carry other genetic defects. And in some cases the risk of genetic defects is significantly lower than some forms of genetic issues. Please see my other blog post discussing genetics.


6a. Should I get involved in a consanguinamorous or incestuous relationship?

Only you can answer that for yourself. This may help you decide.


6b. How do I get involved in a consanguinamorous or incestuous relationship?

Someone will often ask, especially in “incest discussion” forums, how to seduce a close relative. As with any relationship, it should only be by mutual consent. Stalking, harassment, coercion, or assault is never acceptable. There is no one answer to this question, because everyone’s situation is different and what works depends on the personalities of those involved, the present circumstances, and the existing relationship and its history.

In some cases, it is more difficult than seduction in general because of prejudices and fears. In other cases, it is less difficult because there is already much physical affection and the potential lovers have intimate communication, plus their proximity and other factors that foster sexual relationships.

If you know what you want… whether casual sex, a steady relationship, a spousal relationship… that helps.

You should know better than anyone the personality and your history with the other person(s), and your “relationship climate.” These things will help determine what is likely to be the best approach.

Although every situation is different, you might be able to learn from others. This page may be of some assistance.


6c. I think a close relative or family member is interested in a sexual relationship with me. What should I do?

Only you can answer that for yourself. This may help you decide.

If you are not interested in consanguinamory, make that clear, just as you should when anyone else is pursuing you and you do not have a reciprocal interest. If this is a “reunion” situation that involvesGenetic Sexual Attraction, it is especially likely the rejected person(s) will have trouble dealing with the rejection. However, nobody should do anything they don't want to do. Sex or lovemaking should be mutually enjoyable.



7a. What does my incestuous dream mean? Is having such a dream a problem?

Incestuous dreams are very common. They could be metaphorical in that you are feeling close or affectionate, in a nonsexual way, toward the other person(s). However, sometimes the dreams are more literal in that you may have a sexual desire you have been uncomfortable admitting. It is only a problem if you let it be.


7b. Is it abnormal or problematic to have incestuous fantasies?

No, just as with other sexual fantasies, it isn’t abnormal or problematic as long as these fantasies do not become an obsession that prevents you from other normal life functions and meeting your reasonable obligations. Many people have fantasies of consensual incest for at least a season in their lives. Everything from crushes to strong infatuations and attractions can be normal and common.


7c. Is it abnormal or problematic to read or view incest erotica, stories, pictures, or videos?

Not if we’re talking about the depiction of consenting adults and as long as it isn’t interfering with normal life functions and meeting your reasonable obligations. This theme is very popular, even with some people who have no desire or curiosity pertaining to sex with their own family members.



8a. I think someone I know may be involved in consanguinamory or consensual incest. What should I do?

The same thing you would do with any other relationship. Be respectful of their decisions and their privacy. This might help you find out for sure if they are involved.


8b. I know someone I know is involved in consanguinamory or consensual incest. What should I do?

The same thing you would do with any other relationship. Be respectful of their decisions and their privacy.


8c. I found out my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, or other family members or ancestors were close relatives. What should I do?

There’s nothing to do, really. This is true of just about everyone’s family tree, if you go back far enough, even if the records do not show this truth.


8d. I walked in on someone or saw someone having consanguinamorous or incestuous sex. What should I do?

The same thing you would do with any other relationship. Learn to knock and be respectful of their decisions and their privacy. If they know you know, assure them you respect their privacy and their rights to be with each other. Unless you can’t handle hearing about it, let them know they can talk with you. They’d probably appreciate a supportive person.


8e. Someone told me they are having a consanguinamorous or consensual incest relationships. What should I do?

The same thing you would do with any other relationship. Be respectful of their decisions and their privacy. Assure them you respect their privacy and their rights to be with each other. Unless you can’t handle hearing about it, let them know they can talk with you. They’d probably appreciate a supportive person.


8f. Someone walked in on us or discovered us having consanguinamorous or incestuous sex, or they found out about us another way. What should we do?

You need to protect yourselves. Lock the door and be more discreet in the future. If you think there may be a legal issue brought into it, consider moving away, especially to a jurisdiction that does not prosecute adults for consanguinamory. You may also want to contact an attorney in your state for legal advice.


8g. Our parents discovered that we’re having sex with each other. What should we do?

Many parents have difficulty with the sexuality of their children, even their adult children. Add in prejudices against consanguinamory, and parents can have a seriously negative reaction. As a reminder, in many jurisdictions, even consanguinamory between adults is illegal and prosecuted. If one or both of you is under the age of consent where you live, having sex may be breaking that law, too. Even without those legal complications, if you are dependent on your parents, especially living in their home, you are going to have to deal with their rules and demands. If they want you to stop and you do not want to stop, then the best thing you can do is be discreet and become independent, living in your own place, maybe in a different town than your parents. You can also refer your parent to read and educate themselves. You can direct them to any of the sites I listed in my "links" section.


9. I am consanguinamorous. Where can I find help?

You can contact me personally using the link on my "contacts" page or you can check out the links in my "links" section. There are links to other resources that can help you.


10. What can I do to help consanguinamorous people and others who face persecution, discrimination, and prosecution because of who they are or the person(s) they love?

There are many ways in which you can help. Please contact me using the links on my "contacts" page, or contact the blog Full Marriage Equality, or the blog The Final Manifesto, or the blog Consanguinamory.


There is a huge difference between sex with a consenting adult and abuse
When people hear the word "incest", they automatically associate it with abuse. I would like to point out that rape, sex between an adult and a minor, sexual assault, coercion, forced marriage, and child abuse are all horrifying, and damaging to the victim. We have laws that are in place to help deter and prevent these abusive atrocities, and with good reason.

There is a huge difference between these horribly abusive acts, and sex between consenting adults though. Abusive atrocities deserve heavy penalties and prosecution to the full extent under the law. Sex between consenting adults should not be prosecuted, discriminated against or shamed for sharing love.

If you are a victim of abuse, I want you to know that you are not alone. And that there are resources to help you heal from the abuse you have suffered. A few I will mention are HAVOCA (Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse), ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse), and several others. There are also counselors and psychiatrists in your area that you can google to find. There is no shame in seeking help when you have been a victim of abuse.

For anyone who is a consenting adult in a consensual relationship with another adult consenting family member, you are not alone either. And there is no shame in being in a healthy, happy and loving relationship, even if it is with another adult family member, or even if you are polyamorous and are in consenting relationships with more than one consenting adult.

Relationships between consenting adults whether it be monogamous, polyamorous, polygamous, etc are beautiful. In today's world, many families that fit the social norm suffer from physical, emotional abuse, estrangement, alienation, and divorce. It is sad that these things happen, but we cannot deny the fact that it is quite common. Just as people who are in unconventional relationships that are happy, loving, and are not abusive in any way should not be persecuted, but rather they should be accepted. I mean, as long as everyone is consenting and happy, and nobody is being abused, it is absurd to penalize, prosecute, and discriminate against them. Nor should society try and shame them or make them feel bad for loving another person. They are not hurting anyone.

If you are in a happy healthy consenting but taboo relationship, I have a "links" page for resources you may find informative and useful.

If you are an abuse survivor, I have also posted some links on my "links" page that might be helpful to you as well.

if you have questions about this blog post i encourage you to contact me using the info on my "contacts" page.


Birth Defects Argument
There seem to be several common arguments about why people in consanguinamorous relationships should not be in these relationships. The one I am going to address in this post is the argument that incestuous or consanguinamorous couples should not be together or procreate due to the risk of birth defects.

First, I want to point out that just because consenting adults are having sex together does not mean that they plan to procreate. So procreation in itself is not a valid reason to keep consanguinamorous people from being together.

Furthermore, all people carry recessive traits that can potentially cause birth defects in varying degrees. Some people carry more serious genetic issues than others. But we do not forbid these people from procreating. We do leave that very personal decision up to the individual.

Some examples of people who are at risk for passing on certain genetic defects to their future children include people who have Clubfoot Syndrome (talipes equinovarus), people with dwarfism, people with Tay-Sachs Disease, people with Sickle Cell trait or disease, people with Bipolar Disorder, people with Schizophrenia, and women over the age of 35. Absolutely none of the genetic issues I just mentioned have any type of law against the person with the issue having children. This choice is a personal choice. And it is the right of every individual to get the facts, assess the risks, and make informed decisions based on the information they collect.

It should not be any different for couples in consanguinamorous relationships either. Their rates of passing on genetic issues are no higher than any of the conditions I mentioned. In fact, their risk is considerably LOWER than several of the conditions I listed.

If you think someone should not have children based on their risk of passing on a genetic defect, ask yourself this: If I had one of these genetic issues, would I want someone else deciding whether I can have kids? Or would I want to make that decision myself?

Each person is entitled to live, love, and procreate as they see fit, as long as they are in non abusive relationships with consenting adults. This should be no different for consanguinamorous people.


If you have suggestions...
My site includes adult consensual relationships, including adult consensual incest, consanguinous relationships, consanguinamory, etc. which are relationships between adult family members. Regardless of if they were raised together or apart, adopted or not adopted. Whether they are monogamous, or poly. Whether they relate to Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) or not.

This does NOT include relationships between adults over the age of 18 and young people under the age of 18. Nor does this site condone ANY nonconsensual relationships between anyone. Sexual battery and rape ARE abusive and my site DOES NOT support that at all.

With that said, if anyone has ideas, requests for certain articles, topics they would like to see covered on my blog, or anything else related to the things my site covers, please contact me.

Since this is my first time trying my hand at a website and blog, I welcome input. Thanks !!

Do GSA relationships work?
There really isn't a simple answer to what makes ANY relationship work for each individual. Since what works for one person, may not work for another.

Certainly, if there is physical or emotional abuse in ANY relationship then it is not a healthy relationship.

Each individual needs to figure out what they want, and need in their own personal relationship whether it's a heterosexual, homosexual, monogamous, poly, open relationship, or any other type of relationship. Different relationships work for different people. And that goes for anyone in a GSA relationship as well.

Ideally, if you know what works for you, and the person you are with, then with time, effort, love, communication, trust (basically the same things in any healthy relationship) then yes, a GSA relationship is no different than any other relationship between consenting adults.

GSA relationships are made more complicated by unneeded interference by bigots, and unjust laws, but I will save that for another blog post ;)

So to sum it up, YES!! GSA relationships can, and do work for some people.

Consanguinamory
Consanguinamory is a word coined by Full Marriage Equality. it means someone who shares love, sex or both with another genetic relative. Some people call it consensual incest. Consanguinamory, although rarely discussed, happens quite often. Around 50% of adoptees experience it. You yourself probably know someone in a consanguinamorous relationship, even if you don’t know about them. In most countries consanguinamory is illegal. Therefore two consenting adults that happen to be related by blood, and are having consensual sex can face severe persecution and prosecution. In the United States almost every state has laws banning consensual incest among adults. And the penalties in these states range from 7 years to life in prison. People who rape, murder, rob, assault or commit other horrible crimes, get a much lesser penalty than couples who simply love each other, want to be together, and have sex with each other. These laws are ridiculous.

There are two common ways that consanguinous relationships can happen. The first is the lack of the Westermarck effect. Westermarck is where family members who have grown up together develop a sexual indifference or even an aversion to their other relatives sexually. But in some cases the westermarck effect didn’t kick in or was weak and so consanguinamorous relationships were made possible.

The other common way consanguinous relationships can happen is with something called Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). When relatives are separated for long periods of time, like with adoption, then when they meet later in life GSA can happen. They commonly experience very strong emotional feelings towards each other. they may feel drawn to that person. They may feel so strongly in their feelings that they feel “obsessed”. Most people feel attracted to people that look like themselves. When they see shared features and traits in the other person, it just reinforces their attraction. Let me reassure you that all these feelings and emotions are normal and sometimes overwhelming. You are not sick or perverted for having these feelings. And if the other person reciprocates the feelings, these relationships have the potential to be the most intense, satisfying, honest, and healthy relationships in the world.

if you or someone you love is in one of these relationships, please don’t judge them. Just be happy that they found love, happiness, and contentment in their relationship.

 Consanguinamory

unLinks to blog posts here:


Local mother, son face charges of incest Part 1 Clovis


Incest couple jailed again Part 2 Clovis


Government has no business in our bedrooms Part 3 Clovis


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